OK, so a friend of mine was over the other day, and I was changing Big J's butt, and she was all, "Really, Lis? A wipe warmer?"
She is not the first person.
(Also, I have taken to calling him Big J. When I'm not calling him J-Dog. Or Snoochybottom.)
So, yes, we have a wipe warmer.
A number of people have made fun of us for it. For the ridiculous American propensity to come up with a gadget for every possible thing - and for us for falling for it.
Let me tell you, I was fully in the Wipe Warmers are Ridiculous camp.
Until we had another Gas Emergency.
We had this crisis way back when I was still fully in the throes of C-section recovery. Because we needed one more fucking thing to complicate our lives.
It turns out the fucking stove had never been installed properly. I mean from way back years before we bought it. And so the gas leak, it was in the wall. Not the top of the stove where the DC Gas Emergency Man found it. I mean, it was there, too. But we had that fixed.
So in our second Gas Emergency, they shut off the gas to the whole goddamn house. No gas for you!
Which for us means not only no stove, but no dryer, no hot water, no I can't even remember what else.
And if I can just bring it up one more time, this was back in the vagina squarching days. And unlike some people, while it sounds good in theory on a hot day, I learned that I am not one who finds a cold blast of water to the hoo-ha to be remotely refreshing.
Which then made me think about my boy and his little boy bits, and how they were being swiped 54 times a day with what I had previously considered cool, refreshing, moist little wipes.
Eeeeeee! Coldcoldcold! Terrible!
I ordered a wipe warmer that very minute.
And I am very much, laugh if you want, call me a big old American consumer...But just you try a jolt of coldycold on your most private parts and see how you like it.