Thursday, March 25, 2010

His vorpal blades! The snicker-snack!

So it's not like I really want to dwell on my nipples.

But sometimes, sometimes life is just like that.He resisted my initial attempts at documentation, but I think you'll see in subsequent photos - the kid really has teeth.

You probably know where this is going. You maybe even did a squeamy little cringy oh-the-nipples! eeeee! dance in your chair.

They started out as ittybitty nubs. The teeth, I mean.

And they've turned into small, sharp, dangerous little white weapons.And they're all super adorable, ooh, look at the little white dentition blossoming in the pink pink gums!

Ahh, cutie cute! Love the teeth!


Until you settle in for what you think will be a nice little cuddle and nurse. And your kid looks up at you all lovingly. And grabs your shirt with chubby pink fingers. And snuggles close.

And opens his mouth wide.

And CHOMPS! With glee!Chomps, holds on, pulls back, scraaaaapingly back, as if to assess his work. . .

. . .and only lets go in extreme surprise because of the sheer volume of pained, horrified epithets pouring out of Mama's mouth. That'll frumious Bandersnatch you, it will.

BLD is fast approaching, my friends.


  1. Oh, ow. owie ow.

    Also, you are going to have your hands full.

    Also, Woohoo! BLD!

    Also, Ow. And *whimper*

  2. Dagny - I was so angry, really really angry. I had to lie there and breathe and remind myself that he didn't hurt me on purpose. Because owie owie ow and whimper is exactly right.

  3. The trick that worked for me (that I read on a bfeeding site) was when they bite you, you smush their little face into you. Your instinct is to pull away but this reaction is a deterrent to doing it. It sounds kind of mean but I only had to do it twice.

  4. Thank you. I will try that. Because it's true - it's the opposite of my reaction. I practically flung him across the bed, I flinched so hard. And I've been scared ever since.

  5. The "chomps with glee" photo scares the shite out of me.

  6. I agree with Hillary, that chomps with glee photo is evil cuteness all wrapped up in 1 photo, scary....

  7. Yup, last call, little buddy.

  8. Yeah, that pic is a little evil looking. Like he knows what he's doing and enjoys doing it. "Chompin is my bidnez and bidnez is gooood!"

    Also, I've heard and read about kids breastfeeding until 2 or 3 or older. How the heck do they do that? Especially with a full set of chompers?

  9. Ouch!!! That is a bit of an evil smile on his face in the last picture. On the other it kinda like giving birth? When you see that awesome smiley face you forget about the pain he just inflicted on you? Nah, probably not. I never really forgot the birth pain either, lol.

    But god - hee is adorable!

  10. ok - those little teeth are pretty freaking adorable. but yes - they look as sharp as henkel's from where I'm standing.

  11. pulling towards you and squoooshing them into your breast works as does sticking your finger into the side of their mouth to break the suction, taking them off and then stopping nursing for a while. My daughters realized PRETTY soon that, fun enough as it is to bite mommy, if they did, they weren't gettin' none anytime soon!!! Only takes a couple of time before they realize that biting is not worth it.

  12. Goodness gracious! The last photo says it all, Big J's first "Muhahahaha" laugh?!

  13. Karen, random reader3/25/2010 10:46 PM

    I agree with the above post about finger in the mouth to break the suction and get the hell out of there! Then put the baby in the crib, and walk away.

    Those are new teeth, and its all about exploring what they do, I think . . . learning that particular move means no more Mom worked for us.

    Gotta do what works for you, obviously. I breastfed a long time (3 years-- which a friend called "doing a National Geographic) and I certainly would not have had the biting been more than once or twice.

  14. for some reason - my browser @ work will not let me comment - bollocks. However the Harold-ness of Big J totally astounds me - also his expression are priceless.

    Give your nipples my best. tell them I am thinking of them and hope they get well soon.

  15. Hillary - I think it's the angle. He isn't actually as evil as he looks. I don't think...

    Sophie - See above. :)

    Wendy - Gettin' close.

    FoggyDew - To be fair, he has limited business opportunities.

    And as I understand it, their moms teach them fast that it's not acceptable. And then, after year one, I think it's more about comfort (and antibodies) than a whole lot of nutrition.

    Kate - I'm still flinchy, and it happened two days ago. But it's true that he smiles and I would do absolutely anything for him. Actually, even when he doesn't smile.

    Masala Chica - Yes! Henkel's!

    Anonymous - I think it's true. One way or another, it's the lesson that it's not worth it to continue this behavior.

    HKW - Yes! I think you're right! His first "Muhahahahaha" laugh! Today, the laugh. Tomorrow, world domination

    Karen - I think it's true - they're exploring. And they need to learn that it's NOT OK to bite mama. "Doing a National Geographic" is hilarious!

    SarahLeighRabbit - Bollocks is right!

    Thank you for the good wishes.


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