Yesterday, yesterday I was stewing.
If I had canned it, it'd tide us through next winter. I mean, if we liked canned stew heavily peppered with vitriol. With a side of vituperativeness.
I love those angry V words.
Anyway, I've simmered down a little. But yesterday I was just too angry to respond to comments. However, I really appreciated them; please don't think I didn't.
They definitely made me feel better, and less aberrant.
So, thank you.
But every time I thought about all of it, I was back in the furious. And I'd still drive that truck if I weren't worried about the law and karma. Seriously.
And don't think I haven't been brainstorming for untraceable things one can do. I mean, so one could eliminate the fear of the law. Karma is another matter entirely.
If you have suggestions, I am open.
But you know, I was raised not to be angry. Seriously.
Because anger in women? Is so unattractive.
Positivity! Sweetness! Agreeableness! Those are attractive.
And of course attractiveness is Very Important. Because otherwise you might not get married. You also won't be attractive (and thus probably won't get married) unless you're thin. And tidy.
You think I'm kidding about this?
Skinny, tidy, cooperative. I've managed one of the three fairly consistently. I bet Nick would love it if I were tidier. And probably more cooperative. But he loves me loves me loves me for me (not to sound all Bridget Jones) just as I am.
Plus, I'm never actively working to bring down the household, so there's that.
If we have another kid and it's a girl, I swear I am not going to put this kind of fucked up stuff on her. Although apparently girls' self-esteem comes from their interaction with their fathers. Nick won't feed her these weird messages either.
Did you have these kinds of unhelpful messages growing up? If so, how have you dealt with these things in adulthood?