Friday, June 24, 2011

Reason will not reach a solution I will end up lost in confusion

I need a lot of external validation.

This may come as a surprise to you.

I know exactly where this comes from, thanks to thousands of dollars in not-covered-by-insurance therapy. But blaming your dead dad is a cheap shot.

But it's just a fact. I know when I do good work, and I know when I've produced something I really like. But I also know that when it's something creative, like textiles or writing...I need the opinion of others. Preferably the positive opinion, although I prefer honesty over blind positivity.

Ever since my friend Sam told me that LG stopped being entertaining when I got married, I've periodically wondered whether I should keep writing here, or if I'm just boring the crap out of people.

I feel like weird, funny things used to happen to me all the time. And then I stopped going on Internet dates.

I still work in a crazy factory of sorts. But you know, the boss whose office I wanted to put the bugs in left a long time ago, and for a while things have been pretty normal there as well.

So I wondered if it's that odd things no longer happen to me? Or is it that I'm so occupied with work/kid/life that I don't notice?

And while I don't blog for praise or for the good of humanity, I do like the interactive aspect of it. I'm deliberately writing in public, right?

If I think I'm boring you, I'm going to beat myself up over it. Which is why, periodically, I also get all dramatic, back of hand to forehead, swoon on the divan, I should just give up right now! I have nothing further to say!

And then I'll realize I have a story I want to tell. Or I'll see my mom's neighbor, Martha, who I adore, who tells me that she loves LG. Doesn't just like it, loves it.

Or I'll hear someone call my name in Target, and turn to see an attractive blonde woman wheeling a baby in a cart towards me, saying, "I just want to tell you I love your blog! You said you like it when you meet people who read, and I saw you a couple aisles away and I've been stalking you!"

So I beamed and thanked her and said hi to her baby, and I refrained from spontaneously hugging her. I really have to pat myself on the back; I've seriously reduced my hugging of unsuspecting strangers.

Let me clarify that. I don't sneak up to people in the produce aisle and give them furtive hugs. But I do have a penchant for hugging people I barely know.

Boy, did this make my day. And then she walked away and another woman in the aisle turned to me and said, "I bet that really made you feel good!"

I beamed at her as well. (No hugging.) "It did! It really did!"

Happy weekend, all!


  1. That end story makes me feel better about thinking I recognized you in Spices in Cleveland Park. I debated whether or not I should say something, but these two possibilities scared me:
    1. It was you, and you'd feel stalked and would think I was crazy.
    2. It wasn't you, and that person would think I was crazy.

    Lose-Lose, as it were.

  2. You are one of my favorite blogs...always happy to see it updated in my RSS reader. Don't stop! I feel like my life has sort of matured in parallel, and I don't at all mind the shifting focus. Keep it up!

  3. I've been a reader of your blog since your pre-baby days, and check every afternoon. I find it very entertaining! Don't stop posting!

  4. In my opinion, as a long-time LG reader and analyst with an insanely good memory, LG is consistently hilarious, interesting, emotional and beautifully written. It's not the people or experiences in your life rather your perspective that make your blog so wonderfully cool.

    And I've met you and you hugged me :) I'm not really a hugger of strangers but we're so beyond that!

    Keep writing as long as you enjoy it. A book authored by you is a grand idea, too. -HK

  5. P.S. Nick, Betty and Jordan are also wonderfully cool!

  6. I was turned onto LG by another friend of mine who isn't married and doesn't have children. She thinks your blog is hilarious and I too think it is funnier than heck!

    Also though, being a mommy and a wife (of sorts) I feel validated that I'm not the only one with the same childcare questions/worries/wonders. I find your status as a married woman a great boon to me because I'm not the only woman with a husband who sometimes you just don't get or you have that nothing/same-every-time fight with.

    YOU do a great job with this blog. You help keep me sane AND you make me laugh until sometimes I nearly pee myself.

    I'm going to validate you right now, with a triple FB Like and a big e-Hug! :)

    Thank you for being you!

  7. Um, boring? WHAT?!
    Absolutely not. You're consistently funny or moving or thought-provoking and often you're all three in one post. You're one of only four or five bloggers who I have bookmarked on my iPhone, in fact. Thanks for sharing your stories.

  8. This blog has changed character many times over the years. It's been a dating blog. It's been a heart breaking family illness blog. It's been an wedding blog... and it quickly went from there to a pregnancy blog. And now it's a Mommy blog.

    The blog has covered the gamut of emotions, sometimes seriously, but more often with humor. In doing so, it is a very relatable blog.

    Through it all, it's been the blog of Lisa, International Woman of Mystery. :-)

  9. Oh, I would be so sad if you gave it up - your blog is one of my absolute faves! Since I'm all the way over in Oregon, and therefore don't have the opportunity to run into you in IRL and make your day with a random compliment, I'll just have to settle for leaving it here.

    Happy weekend!

  10. I'd be sad if you didn't blog. I've been reading since PND(preNickdays) and really, it would be like a good friend just ran away. I don't ever comment, but I always love it.

  11. Exactly what everyone else said. I've been reading since well before Nick was in the picture, and though your focus has changed, it isn't one bit boring. I check your blog on my 1st break at work, just to see what's new. No expectations. It can be funny, sad, sweet or horrifying - it's all fair game. Please don't stop blogging.

  12. Hear, hear! Love you, Lisa! Please don't disappear!

  13. " Shannon said...
    You are one of my favorite blogs...always happy to see it updated in my RSS reader. Don't stop! I feel like my life has sort of matured in parallel, and I don't at all mind the shifting focus. Keep it up! "

    Ditto! You are one of my favorite blogs - love your point of view and your "voice" when you write.

    I would totally hug you if I ran into you at the store, but I live at the other end of the country. Plus, I'm tall so you'd probably be stuck in my belly button or something.

    Please keep sharing your stories, and your life.


  14. You are one of the few blogs (out of the many that I follow) in which I make the effort to read every single day. Thanks for letting us be a fly on the wall of your life!
    PS your letters to Jordan each month are so sweet, and a wonderful treasure for him to look back on when he is older. Love it!

  15. We go all the way back to the foot prostitution post where you got linked by Wonkette and you're never boring to me.

    Write on, Lisa.

  16. Ha, you can't have any doubt I love reading this. I'm the one who spent a whole afternoon reading old posts when I first discovered LG and then felt compelled to write you and say how crazy it was how often you seemed to write exactly the way I think.

    Sure, blogs can be a bit of a narcissistic time suck, but I consider them a much higher form of entertainment than just sitting around watching reality tv or whatever...

  17. It was so nice to meet you, Lisa! I'm glad I brightened your day!

  18. I didn't start reading your blog until you already had Jordan and I love it. I've read the older posts that you have linked to and love those as well. If I ever get to meet you I do hope you'll decide to hug me.

  19. I love hugging strangers! You should bring that ish back.

  20. I am a relatively new reader as well, only a few months, but I actually save your posts for last in my reader because they are great, make me giggle, and make me wish I lived somewhere nearer to DC because you sound like a fun person!

  21. I've had a really shitty year LG. If you tell me you're going to stop blogging. That's it! I'm going to join a convent and give up talking or some such nutty thing! Please don't ever stop writing or beat your self up to much for perceived transgressions. You are beyond're family! I need your humor, your short fuse, your family tales, your broken heart, your advice and your story your mom, husband and adorable boy. Keep on. Please.

  22. I will always love, LG. :)

  23. I found you ( no idea how!) pre Nick days and promptly went riiight back to the beginning and read you cover to cover. And the thing I love the most about LG is the hilarious take on every day things.

    If I saw you in the supermarket I would SO run up and give you a hug!

    And yes, I'm the same. I'm always telling myself I should be writing for myself, not for an audience etc. But recently I've been thinking 'okay I must be getting boring. I used to get 30 something comments, now I'm lucky if I get 4! Maybe I should just give this whole thing up." but I shall persist!

  24. I found your blog back when I was planning my wedding. I got married in October 2008 as well and some Google search led me here. I have been reading ever since and, at the risk of sounding a little stalker-y, I also went back over time and have read every one of your posts prior to meeting and marrying Nick. Yours is actually the only blog I read every day and I would be crushed if you gave it up. Someone else above said that it is not what's in your life that makes the blog interesting, it's your perspective of it and that is totally true. I also would love a book by LG.

  25. I don't even remember when I started reading your blog, but I do know that it was before you got married.

    It makes me happy to see you so happy.

  26. I saw you and Nick and Jordan at the Kalorama Park last weekend, and so wanted to come up and say hello. But I also didn't want to invade your private family time. I love reading your blog, and as a thirty-something girl living in DC, reading about your life gives hope that someday I will have what you have... which is exactly what I want. So please don't stop blogging.

  27. While your friend might not be entertained by your blog so much now, there is others of us who love, yes love not just like, reading your blog. I for one refer to you as my friend Lisa who lives in DC. Your audience may have changed slightly because of the phase your life is in right now, you moved from the single dating thing to new things, I look back at my frantic weird crazy dating days and chuckle. Your storys you share bring back memories for me of what it was like when Ben was Jordan's age and I am grateful for that because I remeber all these little things that have been tucked away in my back memory boxes. Dont ever stop writing because every phase your life goes through there is an audience out there who can relate and you write so well it is easy to capture that audience.
    PS I am a bit of a random hugger too, for instance if I ever meet you I would hug you cause I just think you are such a cool person.

  28. When I first started reading your blog, I went back and read everything in the just a few days. I still look forward to and read every day. If you ask me, there is still plenty of crazy in your life and I love that you share it in a way that usually makes me laugh out loud.

  29. I love LG, and my mom does too (she sends me emails about your posts). I know my blog isn't as appealing to people that read it in 2006, but it's an accurate reflection of the evolution my life, just like LG is a reflection of your evolved life. Better to be true to yourself and bore a select few than have to play a role just for a blog, you know?

  30. 2 things
    1. i'll be so sad if you stop this blog, i check my google reader in hopes of an LG post at least every day! they make me smile and laugh out loud
    2. if i ever run into you sometime, somewhere i hope i get a hug!

  31. While I have never actually commented on your blog, I have read it daily for years--the timing of this was way too good to pass up. I'm pretty sure I just saw your husband running on the mall, probably stared at him for a second too long trying to place him, so apologize for me.

    Anyway, I love your blog, hope to some day run into you, too! (mean that in the least creepy way possible)

  32. You are most definitely NOT boring! This is one of my favorite blogs. Even if you don't have funny dating stories anymore, you have funny Jordan stories and those are fabulous!

  33. I am a DCer in my early 30s and am single with no kids. I have been reading you since long before Nick too, and will continue to do so as long as you keep posting. Despite our life-paths being completely different, I still think you are hilarious, honest and insightful, and read you every day. Please don't ever think no one appreciates you. Us total strangers do! :)

  34. Celia - 1. I love your name, and 2. It wasn't me. Now I'd be curious to see how another person might react.

    Shannon - Thank you! I think I've lost and gained readers at every step, depending on where people were/are in life.

    Tempest - Thank you thank you!

    HK - Your opinion is so valuable to me, partly because you are YOU and partly because you are an excellent analyst with an insanely good memory. :) And I couldn't imagine not hugging you - you were so far from a stranger at that point! We ALL love you.

    Moue - That is amazing validation and I really appreciate it. Huge hugs back to you!

    Dana - Well, he's a guy, and he liked the insane dating stories. He also spent a lot of time propping me up and making me eat dinner in lieu of just sitting in a corner sobbing. But I think it just got less entertaining for him when the drama dropped off. We're still very good friends.

    And thank you for the kind words! I find you inspirational and I love love love your kids.

    vvk - Oh, my friend, I wouldn't have met you but for this blogging journey, and my life would definitely be the poorer for it. You are not only the tallest man I know (no small thing in my world!) but also one of the kindest human beings ever, and someone I know always gets me, even when I'm being dark and vindictive, which you don't condone. Huge huge hugs to you!

    Keenie Beanie - This is so nice to hear! And I believe that one day our paths will cross and we will hang out IRL! Anyway, I do hope so.

    Anonymous - That's a very sweet thing to say. And I love PND! Thank you.

    Susan H - You have been with me for a long time! Lancome lipstick and all! Thank you for sticking with me.

    Laura - Love you right back! I'm not disappearing, not for a while. I just get insecure.

    Erin - Thank you, that's lovely. And the idea of getting stuck in someone's belly button really makes me laugh. Thank you!

  35. Anonymous - Thank you for reading! And I'm glad you like the Jordan letters. I love writing them, and I love having the months to look back on. I hope he likes them one day as well.

    Lisa - Boy, do we go way back. You write on, too, my friend.

    frugalveganmom - You make me laugh. I'm really enjoying watching you be a mom. It is true they're a time suck, but they're fun and I love the window into the lives of others.

    JRF I love you, too! And one of these days we will connect in person after all these years!

    Emily Baker - You really did! Thank you again!

    Grace - You are so sweet and lovely. I would hug you in a second!

    Anthony from CharismaticKid - I'm just trying to be more aware of the boundaries of others. Turns out not everyone is up for a hug at all times. Huh?!?

    zerodoll - What a nice thing to say! Thank you!

    Lynn - Oh, I adore you. I know you've had a shitty year and I'm sorry about that. I will keep up with my humor and short fuse and all the rest of it. Thanks for the pep talk! :)

    cltirish - Thank you very much!

    Miranda - One day I will turn up in your town and surprise hug you in the market! And I'm glad you have the same take on it. You must persist! I love reading!

    Jessica - Thanks so much for the nice comment. I love hearing that. And I am working on more writing of the bookish kind. And I don't feel stalked - I feel flattered!

    ThePeach - Thanks so much. That's really lovely.

    Anonymous - If you see us again, please do! I would love it, and we wouldn't at all feel like family time was invaded! In fact, depending on the day and Jordan's behavior, we might just hand you our toddler and flee. :) And if this is what you want, you will have it. Really.

    Go-Betty - I definitely consider you a friend, and one of these days we will meet and I will give you the hugest hug! And I think it's very true that audience has shifted. Big hugs to you.

  36. JP - Thank you so much for saying this: "If you ask me, there is still plenty of crazy in your life and I love that you share it in a way that usually makes me laugh out loud." I love it!

    Kate Bee - Thank you very much, and thank your mom for me. You're exactly right - much better to just live who you are and be true to yourself. Rock on, Kate Bee!

    jen - Yes, I will hug you! And that cutie cute boy of yours too, I hope!

    C - OK, this was awesome, because I got to email him and asked if he ran on the mall today...which made him wonder how I knew. :) And then I fessed up. And in the smallness that is DC, I would say odds are good that we'll run into each other! Please say hi if we do!

    Jackie - Thank you! that's very nice!

    Veruca - Thank you for such a nice comment! It really makes me feel good.

  37. Lisa, your honesty and humor and bravery and writing style and topics..have made me laugh, cry, sigh and realize how special your voice really is. Moments of introspection are part of you- don't change that, but promise you won't stop sharing your process with all of us.

    Oh, you also made me trust in my own desire to write. That's huge in my book.

    So, carry on, lady!

  38. I found your blog right around the time you and Nick got married so I can't comment on your friend's opinion. But I will say that I love your blog. LOVE not like. And not just for the funny stories. I love it because I feel like I'm having a conversation with you, not just reading someone's stories. You are a very talented storyteller, even if the story is about cat pee or rat traps or erection skirts. You rock, lady.

  39. So I've been out of the loop for a while and haven't been reading blogs, which I HOPE does not make this sound insincere. But my goodness, if you stopped blogging I'd miss LG. It's not just the crazy things that happen to you, it's also the way you look at life, and the way you describe when perfectly normal things happen.

    So please don't stop writing LG!

    And now I'm going to catch up on what I've missed since I've been traveling... Hugs! (even though I'm practically a stranger)


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