Monday, June 20, 2011

Sh*t Jordan's dad says

Reading Us Weekly: "I think Justin Bieber wears lipstick. Look at this. His lips are the same color as Shania Twain's."

Responding to a Centers for Disease Control survey question asking if he's concerned about his child's language development: "Concerned? No. We're extremely interested, but not concerned. Well, what are the options? What? Who would admit to being UNconcerned? Fine. Put me down as highly concerned. But I'm not concerned. I'm interested."

To the DC Department of Records woman who suggested that he misspelled his own middle name when filling out the form for Jordan's birth certificate: "Please don't insult me like that. I've been spelling my name for almost 40 years. Let's just agree that I know how to spell my middle name and someone in your office made a typo, and move forward from there."

Commenting on the fact that Jordan was having a complete meltdown because we had no more dill pickles: "I hope he's just tired and unable to hold it together. Because if that's not it, Lisa, we have a real pickle problem on our hands."


  1. I LOVE THESE! I sense an occasional feature in this ... ;)

  2. HA! Oh man, the Department of Records comment is *amazing*.

  3. I just read these after a rough sales meeting with a prospect. My boss and the sales guy are arguing, and I had to stifle laughter as I barely listened and read this instead. Thank you for sharing! "a real pickle problem!" love it!

  4. I think I understand why you love him. The spelling comment is priceless, and he got his point across without any profanity? Nice!

  5. Haha... :-)

    Somehow the middle name one reminded me of the fact that I recently wrote "1998" when writing the date on something recently. I have no idea where that came from. 2010 - amusing at this point, but okay. 1998 - I haven't a f*cking clue?!?!

  6. a real pickle problem! swoon!

  7. That middle name one is hilarious!

  8. Ha I love, "We have a real pickle problem on our hands."

  9. The CDC survey one! Priceless!

  10. The Dept. of Records comment is pretty good. However, nothing well ever come close to, "The first clown didn't even bother to show up. The second guy sticks the card in the machine, lies to me, and then bolts. What's the next guy going to do? Pee on my rug?"

    Thanks Nick for brightening my day (and you too Lisa, for publishing his comments).

  11. I'm not sure my husband could even identify Justin Bieber or Shania Twain; he's so hopelessly out of the loop.
    These are hilarious!

  12. Miss Dallas - That is a great idea! I should start taking more notice when he talks...:)

    amanda - The nerve of them, right??

    Carrie - I am so glad! Thanks for telling me!

    Susan H - You are right, no profanity. I think a couple minutes more on the phone and it would've come out. He doesn't hesitate to drop the F-bomb on government employees at this point.

    vvk - That is actually really interesting. I wonder where that did come from?

    Coleen - It seems we only have a minor pickle problem. :) He was very tired.

    K-Tee - Thanks! It cracked me up.


    Anthony - I love that, too.

    Moomser - I think he is right, it's bad wording of the question.

    FoggyDew - Thank you for remembering that! Oh, I really enjoyed that. Except for the no cable lots of stress parts of the story.

    Dana - They are very clearly labeled, usually with their age included, which I think is weird. I find it hilarious that he has any idea who these people are.

  13. ...mmmm, that guy is seriously special!

  14. Reason 8,798 I love Nick!

  15. haha love this. Sometimes I read other peoples posts like this and they are more "ummm, I'm sure it was funny at the time..." but these are actually funny.

  16. This post was so awesome, that I just had to tell you so.

    Nick really does have a way with words, huh? LOL!


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