Thursday, April 12, 2012

Books to get down to: A list for the Three-to-Five a Week Pregnancy Countdown Literary Society

You know how sometimes you walk away from a conversation and then you think of the perfect thing that you wish you'd said?

Admittedly, with me, I more more likely to walk away wishing I hadn't said whatever it was that fell out of my mouth. (Just one example chosen from myriad.) Oh, here's another. And crap, possibly my favorite one, where there are not just words, but actions involved.

But sometimes, sometimes I have the ideal response...just a few minutes or hours too late.

So, along those lines, I woke up this morning thinking, oh, here's how I wish I'd ended yesterday's post: It might be time to pull out the Dickens. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

I told that to Nick. He agreed. We talked about being hard core Dickens fans. That Dickens, he's deep. And so on and so forth.

We think we're funnier than we are, I know, I know.

I knew people in college who had their preferred sex music - particular albums or mixes they'd play.

Then I got started thinking, wouldn't it be funny to compile a reading list? Books to have sex to?

So I've been trying to compile a book list for the 3-5-times-a-week-task that lies ahead of me. It's a hard project (no pun). I asked my friend Kaysha for help, and here's what we've got so far...

Deadeye Dick - Kurt Vonnegut
The Sound and the Fury - William Faulkner
The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway
The Fountainhead - Ayn Rand
As I Lay Dying - William Faulkner
Of Human Bondage - W. Somerset Maugham
Anything by Balzac

I know for a fact that you all are an extremely clever crowd that loves books. Any suggestions?

31 comments:

  1. Pity Him Afterwards - Donald Westlake

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  2. Also, The Big Bounce, by Elmore Leonard. (This is fun.)

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    Replies
    1. You made me laugh over and over with your suggestions. And I think this kind of exercise is really fun.

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  3. The Beautiful and the Damned - F Scott Fitzgerald

    And yall are both very, very funny

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    Replies
    1. You could fill a list with Elmore Leonard books alone: Fire in the Hole, Get Shorty, Stick, Maximum Bob, Freaky Deaky, Up in Honey's Room, and my personal favorite, Naked Came the Manatee.

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    2. Good one, Heather! And Wendy is very sharp and very witty.

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  4. "Pooh Gets Into a Tight Place: Winnie-the-Pooh Pop-up Collection" by A. A. Milne and Ernest H. Shepard

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    Replies
    1. Oh so fitting for my life right now!

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  5. The Divine Comedy!
    The Elements of Style?
    Ah! No Touch Monkey! (great travel memoir by Ayun Halliday. All her stuff is great if you haven't read her yet, highly recommended!)

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    Replies
    1. Elements of Style!!! Good ole Strunk and White, no? Hilarious!

      And I don't know Ayun Halliday - thanks for the rec!

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  6. The Pit and the Pendulum - Edgar Allan Poe (I don't really have the stamina for a full-length book.)

    Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck (applicable only if you're sleeping with Richard Gere).

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    Replies
    1. Hahahaha! Good to have a short story on one's list. Thank you! As for Richard Gere - I vaguely remember that. Was it true??

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  7. Everyone has missed the most obvious! MOBY DICK!

    I'll keep thinking and I'll be back. . . .

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    Replies
    1. You are so RIGHT! Obvious! Thank you!

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  8. Three to five times a week? Wait. What?

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  9. Oh, Dana...midwife mandate for cervical ripening.

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    Replies
    1. You sure Nick didn't bribe her to say that?

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    2. Hmm. Had not thought of that possibility...

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  10. The Paradox of choice maybe? or "Dont Pee on my Leg and Tell me it's Raining" lol

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  11. I just went through my list of books on goodreads.com. These are all actual titles (Although none of them actually have anything to do with sex!)

    The Giver
    Stiff
    I want it now!
    She's Come Undone
    Memoirs of a Geisha
    Great Expectations
    Go the F*ck to Sleep
    Let's Pretend this Never Happened (Not actually out yet. This is the book by Jenny Larson, The Bloggess)

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    Replies
    1. Which is exactly why we like them on the list! Great suggestions!

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  12. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime (no offense Nick!)

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha! You know, my ringtone for Nick is a dog bark. People are horrified, but honestly, it's so recognizable and doesn't drive me crazy to hear all the time in the way the crickets (my other bizarre option) would.

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  13. I was gone yesterday and missed this hilarious post. But I know it's going to be on my mind all day as I wait for the utility man to come fix the broken furnace. I will add one to the list
    Go The F--k To Sleep
    Adam Mansbach, Ricardo Cortes
    (I see cla517 just beat me to it. But it's too funny not to post twice) And didn't that midwife mention you could make a grocery list too? hmmmm....cucumbers,condoms,bullets,

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    Replies
    1. A friend gave us Go the F--- to Sleep - hilarious book! And oh, right, the grocery list!

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  14. Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace.

    Or how about A Time to be Born by Dawn Powell

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    Replies
    1. Excellent! AND reminds me that I want to read Infinite Jest. Seriously.

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  15. The Handmaid's Tale is a good choice. Gives a little perspective. Also, any of Shakespeare's comedies.

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  16. From my 2 year old´s bookshelf (oh dear):
    Snuggle Puppy!
    Inside, Outside, Upside down!
    Mr. Brown can moo! Can you?
    Barney is sooo big!

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