So, here's the story. I was complaining to my trainer about my previously-flat, post-baby-squishy stomach. And here let me say: It's not large. I know I'm not fat. I'm not trying to annoy anyone or even being all woe is me.
It's more that I used to have a great stomach and not have to work so terribly hard on it, and now I have to do a lot of ab work and it still likes to peek over my pants when I sit down. It would happily just sit in my lap if I let it.
My body has changed in many, many ways since having children. This is the way that annoys me most. Well, this and the boob flaps.
I know I am not alone in this. It's just post-baby body. Although I do know that not everyone's boobs go away.
Anyway.
One evening I texted a friend of mine - my co-yuppie neighbor - and said, "I don't know about you, but I particularly enjoy how my baby-acquired layer of tummy likes to ooze over the top of my pants when I sit."
To which she responded, "Almost as great as the distended nipples. Hard to pick, really."
Which, yah. Good point there. But as my nipples pretty much stay tucked in place, I don't dwell on them so much as the malleable stomach.
So there I was complaining, and he reached over, squoze the squish that I was whining about, and said, "Stop drinking alcohol. And don't eat carbs at night. No wine. No carbs."
And I was all, "I am old I have two children one of them wakes up and screams at night I am tired life is hard and then we drink."
"Fifteen days," was his response. "Just give me 15 days."
How can you say no when someone asks for two weeks of rather modest effort?
Fifteen days. How hard is that?
Nick said he'd do it with me. He thought it was a great idea. But it was Friday. He suggested we wait until after the weekend. I agreed.
Day One was Sunday. Sunday went very well. Off to a rousing start. One day down! Fourteen to go!
On Monday I told Kay about it. She was all, "With two kids. Good for you. Let me know how that works out."
Aaaand on Monday night I texted her:
What I'm trying to decide is this: Should I just start over?
With a new bottle? Probably, if you had some last night and the night before, there's not that much left, and you don't have much time before it turns.
ReplyDeleteOh. That wasn't your question? I'm probably not the right person to ask, then.
Hahahaha! Um, that's not what I originally meant, but...
DeleteWith Insanity (product name? you decide.) I'm trying to eat cleaner. I'm willing to pass up the pasta. But don't effing touch my wine.
ReplyDeleteBanning alcohol while banning carbs? That's a lot of banning. Why not cut back? If you usually do more, maybe limit to 1 glass of wine per night or 3 per week or some such more reasonable plan? No offense to your trainer intended, but when the baby is cutting into your sleep quality, you gotta find a way to be kind to yourself.
He just wants me to ban carbs at night. And to his credit, he never suggested it until I complained vociferously about my stomach and asked what I would do. I am a carb fan, and can't imagine living without them, although I eat many fewer simple carbs than ever before. As for the wine, it's damn hard to pass up, but I would like to pour a glass less as a reward or in response to a lot of screaming and more as a celebration or for social events.
DeleteI hear your pain. I have decided that I would rather have wine than a flat belly. And since gerardos belly keeps growing (faster than mine, in fact) i figure that I still look nice and trim when we are sprawled out next to each other. Chinhg ching (she says, as she sips a glass of merlot) xxxx PS -- you're beyond gorgeous, flab and all
ReplyDeleteI love you I love you I really really love you! When you put it that way, I look emaciated sprawled out next to my husband. And you are gorgeous, always!
DeleteYeah so the thing is, you quit for 15 days, lose a couple pounds, what happens when it's over? Unsustainable!
ReplyDeleteOne thing that's helped me recently though (as a person always trying to "cut back" on the booze) is drinking Natural Vitality Calm before bed - it's a lemonade flavored magnesium supplement which is yummy and good for you and slightly fizzy so you could pretend it's a cocktail... ok maybe not but at least better than plain water.
It's true, it's unsustainable. But I think it's a worthwhile experiment. I'm not actually trying to lose weight - I just don't like where it's decided to settle.
DeleteI like the idea of this Vitality Calm! Will look into it!
Keep the wine, and do extra sit-ups? Keep the carbs and do an extra run during the week or weekend? Mind you, I don't do either of those things and have the tummy to prove it...don't listen to me: )
ReplyDeleteOh, Kate...I do a lot of abs and cardio. It's my new normal that's bugging me. :)
DeleteI suppose you could have cheese at night in lieu of carbs. But it could give you weird dreams and it goes best with wine so . . . counterproductive . . .
ReplyDeleteCheese gives you weird dreams? I must try!
Deletehow about you do this for 15 days and let me know how it turns out? #mylifeisyourblog
ReplyDeleteHaha! I will sometime, and I will report out.
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