So if you see me with a dark brown, crumbly mustache, would you please call me out on it?

I was recently reacquainted with Oreos.

How had I entirely forgotten my deep and abiding love of these little round circles of delight?

(And on a side note, my dad used to absolutely love Hydrox cookies. I liked them but didn't have a preference. Do any of you remember Hydrox?)

A few months ago I'd bought those peanut butter Girl Scout cookies from my friend Marta's daughter, and Jordan gobbled them up. And ever after, in his mind, cookies have to have two sides.

I've since given him sham one-sided cookies (read: cookies) and he immediately calls them out as imposters.

"THESE ARE CRACKERS! COOKIES HAVE TWO SIDES!"

So I was at the store and saw Oreos - two sided! Stuff in the middle! and bought them. And then I came home and ate most of them.

Honestly. I've been on this appalling Oreo kick. I've practically been mainlining them. Yikes. That's a terrible vision. I can't even watch when I have blood taken. I definitely woudn't be able to inject Oreos.

But anyway, I have been on this Oreo bender, and it has to stop. I bought them for Jordan and I think he had maybe 10 of them total.

(I initially typed "toadal" instead of "total" and then was all amused with myself. He had to eat them in his hated frog costume and croak in between each one. Toadally. And I do realize frogs and toads are different. Although I don't know how.)

Anyway.

I bought another package, because he kept asking for them and I kept telling him we were out, which was embarrassing but true.

So now Jordan and I share an adoration of Oreos (because who doesn't?), and last night, when he was getting a post-dinner treat, we decided to blow India's mind and introduce her to Oreos.

We gave her one. She looked at it. She turned it over and around. She patted it. It took her a while to decide to pull it apart.

And here I'd like to ask how you eat your Oreos, if you do.

Because they both immediately scraped the white stuff out of the middle and ate that. In fact, India was not much interested in the cookies. We've held off on sweet stuff for her, so I think she sees cookies as kind of a novelty.

I don't remember scraping the white stuff out as a kid, although I think that's what kids do in the commercials. Do most kids do this?

Me, I have never been particularly interested in the white stuff, and the idea of Double Stuff cookies grosses me out.  Actually, mostly I scrape out the white stuff and get rid of it and just eat the cookie. I like to dip it in tea.

I am, however, going on an Oreo detox shortly. Because this is ridiculous.