Wednesday, May 15, 2013

BRAT

I'm so sorry to have left you with that last post for too long. I know it was icky.

So. It got worse around our house before it got better.

It's been a long time since I've asked you a hypothetical, and in fact, the stellar paisley jacket one is the only one I can remember, so let me put one to you now.

Say you'd seen your wife suffer terribly with the aforementioned stomach affliction for nigh on four days. And so, on Friday morning, after having been up all night yourself, when you were complaining of the same affliction, and she handed you yogurt and expressed sympathy, and then suggested that you limit yourself to stuff that would be easy on your stomach that day, like maybe toast, would you:
  1. Heed her advice, because she's been through it?
  2. Heed her advice, because you know about the BRAT - bananas, rice, applesauce, toast - diet for diarrhea and upset stomach?
  3. Heed her advice, because why the fuck not?
  4. Go to the nearest deli for lunch, because after all, all you had for breakfast was yogurt, and get a giant pastrami, cheese and sauerkraut sandwich? And then be up all night Friday, and complain about it Saturday but insist that food had nothing to do with anything?

Just wondering.

19 comments:

  1. C! From the rooftops I shout C!

    Okay so really I answered silently while sitting in a cubicle but with zeal and conviction.

    I'm so sorry things got worse before they got better. Hugs to you dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love you and hug you, Heather! I feel the zeal with which you typed this!

      Delete
  2. I'm sort of getting a feeling like you're leaning one way or the other on this...

    I'm very intuitive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You definitely are. I don't want to influence you, though.

      Delete
  3. If I was Male, D. But I'm female, smart and hate to suffer A, B and C.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh dear. Do they never learn?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He still insists it had nothing to do with it.

      Delete
  5. I understand that pastrami has curative properties that modern science is only now coming to understand. Like herbs and Eastern medicine, delicious deli meats have a place in contemporary medicine. In fact, it is a little know fact that the snake in a caduceus is actually wrapped around a Slim Jim.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am roaring out loud at this! Funny!

      Delete
    2. Now I feel like I ought to keep a stash of Slim Jims in my purse for emergencies.

      Delete
  6. A, or alternatively, "Heed her advice, because like most married men, you have realized that THE WIFE IS ALWAYS RIGHT!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yah, he still doesn't quite buy that one. Even though it's very closely related to MAMA ALWAYS WINS.

      Delete
  7. Hilarious.

    And I'd say that perhaps the deli visitor deserves what he gets, but considering that his wife in all likelihood had to pay the price herself in listening to pitiful man-sick complaints, I have to say I'm sorry, and I hope that your household recovers quickly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You know, Sadie, he got past it in two days - way faster than I did. I didn't wish more on him, but man!

      Delete
  8. i think hubby dearest went with option D...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I was all, WHO EATS PASTRAMI ON AN UPSET STOMACH???

      Delete
  9. Sauerkraut??????? Seriously? BOYS.ARE.DUMB.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Seriously? D. He went for D? That is the zero compassion option, which you know is multiplied by 1,000 by the way they think they re so much sicker than you were, with the same virus/flu thingy. I have actually gotten that excuse, my cold is worse than your cold.

    ReplyDelete

Tell me about it.