Tuesday, January 07, 2014

An open letter to my husband, love of my life, light of my days

Dear Nick,

You know that I love and adore you with my whole heart, and that I cannot imagine being married to anyone else, and that my sincere hope is that we spent our lives together forever and ever till death do us part amen.

I can't actually remember our vows, and I know you can't either, but quite sure we didn't include the sickness and health and richer poorer, etc, but of course it was all implied and neither of us are one to run from a difficult situation.

Naturally, you're probably going to die before me, because one, you're a man, and two, you're overweight and sedentary and have high cholesterol and a bad temper.

But I of course hope that by then I am very old and grey and feeble and not far behind you.

My darling, I love your mind, and your quick wit, and the fact that you are both funnily sarcastic and very punny. Even though it irritates me that you always have to drive when we do the Sunday crossword, and you always write on the fucking numbers, I enjoy how our minds and skills compliment each other.

You are extremely smart, and I'm constantly surprised and impressed by your breadth and depth of knowledge on topics I couldn't begin to talk about.

Physically, you truly are strong as an ox. I respect how hard you work - both in your firm for your clients and colleagues, and at home. You almost never stop on the weekends, and you can do everything from electricity to plumbing to tarring the roof. It shocks me when you pick up a sofa all by yourself and carry it up a flight of stairs.

You are the big, strong man with the power tools that I dreamed of all those years.

Also, I absolutely love that you swam competitively and played water polo and college lacrosse and you were just insanely fit, like, 20-something years ago.

Which brings us to the present. 20-something years later.

You've been sick - really sick - for two solid weeks.  You've been hacking and coughing day and night. For two weeks. Coughing so much your head hurts. Coughing and coughing and snoring.

Every goddam night. For two solid weeks.

I know your job is incredibly busy, and you have a trial next week, during which you will work 24/7. I also know that your doctor, who is now mine, is thorough but has terrible time-management, and it is not unusual to sit for two hours in his waiting room.

Yes, I realize you do not have this kind of time to waste.

And thus, even though you agreed and perhaps even promised that you would call the doctor, the odds are that you will not.

I do know that in most situations, your strength and stubbornness win out. And if you do not have pneumonia or something else requiring antibiotics, then I hope your constitutions gets you through.

However.

Much as I love you and do hope that we grow old as the hills together, don't think I won't smother you in your sleep if you don't die of consumption and this motherfucking all night coughing keeps up much longer.

Love,

Lisa

18 comments:

  1. Sounds like someone is miserable. Hope Nick gets better soon. Also, point of order: My dad who turned 80 in June, who was/is overweight and somewhat sedentary, has outlived my mother by 12 years and counting. There's something to be said for being a slow moving misanthrope.

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    1. I'll pass this on to Nick - both your wishes for recovery and the good news.

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  2. How awful for both of you. Nick will get so much more done for the trial if he's feeling better! My mom gave me brandy when I was sick as a kid. It helped me sleep. I'm just saying.

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    1. Yes! We're big fans of hot toddies! All of our grandmothers used to make them. Plus I've grated ginger and boiled it, and that makes a very strong chest opener when mixed with honey and lemon.

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  3. Are we married to the same guy? Amazing how much we have in common. Hope you get some sleep soon. I tried the couch, another room, sleeping pills...I just want to sleep peacefully next to my husband in my own bed.Why is it so GD hard?!? Get well wishes to Nick, for both your sake. Oh and my husband did finally go to the doctor and all that advice I gave him FOR FREE he is now taking from the doctor.

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    1. He has promised to go to the neighborhood urgent care in a couple days if not better. I am sleeping upstairs tonight. It does make you stabby, doesn't it?

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  4. oh my God I would have killed him a week ago. I say sleep in the other room until the snoring and coughing stops or you'll go mad. hugs to you both.

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    1. I'm setting him up with humidifier and taking myself to another room. I can't take it. I need sleep.

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  5. Oh dear, get well soon Nick. I hope your house is able to sleep soundly very soon and Nick is rid of this terrible illness, poor guy. I love this post, such sweet sentiment!

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    1. Heather, you are the sweetness! Hugs!

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  6. Yikes! I can't deal with snoring AT.ALL. and being sick is no fun, so it sounds like a draw. I suggest 2/3 cup oj, 1/3 cup water - nuke it til steaming and then add a heaping spoonful of honey (local is better, but the generic version is fine) and stir and sip. Have Nick repeat stir and sip multiple times. Helps coat the throat and ease the hacking. Also, ear plugs for you!

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    1. Hmm. We've been doing grated ginger simmered in water, honey (local!) and lemon. And ear plugs make me nutso - the breathing noise in my own head! - but I am headed to another bed!

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  7. DG was sick last winter for 3 weeks he hacked and coughed until I threatened to end our relationship because if he couldn't take care of himself how could I trust him to take care of me when I was old and dotty? That made him finally go see a Dr only to find out he had pneumonia......I rest my case.

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    1. Go-Betty, if Nick finally takes himself to the doctor and he turns out to have pneumonia, he is not going to live past that day because that will be the day I stab him.

      Also, that is awful. Glad you got him to go to the Dr.

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  8. I thought I was the only one who got annoyed at her husband for writing on the crossword numbers! I'm happy to say it's (almost) been beaten out of him.

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    1. It makes me CRAZY! It's like he goes out of his way to write on them!

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  9. You make a fair point… sleeping with a sick person is insanity inducing… therefor as I am the one with the hacky cough now, I shall be sure to keep all sharp objects away from the Husband tonight… not sure what to do about the pillows...

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  10. That is one heck of a letter. Amazing. I hope Nick gets better soon!

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