Friday, March 09, 2007

Does He Work?

I am so very used to my little DC life and my social circle. I'm used to being surrounded by lawyers. I'm used to everyone around me talking politics and current events. I'm used to "I had to work." being the answer to "What did you do this weekend?"

I'm used to guys who would sooner lose a testicle than their BlackBerry or Treo.

And then I went to SoCal for four days. It was such a reminder of how different DC is from so much of the planet.

For one thing, I was surprised to learn that not everyone has a crush on Jon Stewart! Seriously. I just assumed everybody had this huge celebrity crush on him. He's so smart and funny and good looking, and, well,all around hot! Doesn't everyone think Jon Stewart is hot?

Turns out not in San Diego. Why would you have a crush on Jon Stewart when there are Brad Pitts and Patrick Dempseys and Leonardo DiCaprios? Um, because like I said, he's hot! He's so smart and funny and that makes him 85 times hotter than all of them.

They weren't in agreement. They're wrong. But anyway.

But the whole approach to everything is so different. In DC, "What do you do?" is the first question anyone asks. It's something I'm opposed to, because it puts people in little boxes. But I'm guilty of doing it. It's become so ingrained.

So naturally, when you start dating someone, the first question anyone asks about him is, "What does he do?"

Or in my case, "Is he a lawyer?" And the answer is almost invariably yes. Because they're practically all I meet. It's DC, after all. Fortunately I like lawyers - I like how analytical they are, and the fact that they are articulate and write well. Or anyway, the ones I know and adore.

So on Saturday, as you know, my fabulous friend Jane came down from LA. Jane, hilarious, fun Jane, who texted me last year to say, "Lis! I'm in Vegas with Tony! Drinking pool by the beer!"

So this weekend we texted Tony to say we were drinking beach by the beer!

We were in fact at Cass Street drinking bar by the beer when a San Diego friend of hers joined us.

On an average weekend in DC you can find the men I tend to like at work at just about any time of the day or night. I'm not saying it's healthy - for me or them. But it is what it is. In San Diego, you can most likely find these men having a beer. In a bar or on the beach.

And so while I was perched on my bar stool I was only half listening to Jane and her friend's conversation. Because I was also peering at cute men. And taking more pictures of my feet.

Jane's friend was telling Jane she had a new boyfriend. He loves all the same music she does. She met him at a show of one of her favorite bands. He's really cool. He's laid back. He surfs. He snowboards.

Jane's first question was, "Does he work?"

Which was when I snapped to attention.

She just asked her if he works!

And this summed up how different my DC world is from theirs. It's a question I've never heard here. And for the guys I date, not only do they work, they do practically nothing but work.

I mean, they might be happy to see me. Or it might just be the PDA in their pocket.


  1. Does he work?!? Yes, that's totally SD!! But, for the record... I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Jon Stewart!! He's the thinking woman's stud.

  2. G&D - I know! The interesting thing is, people there structure their lives so they can do things they love. Like have jobs that enable them to surf every day or whatever. It's very different from here. Glad to hear you see where I'm coming from with the crush.

  3. Women with brains will always be more attractive to those of us who also have them. Sure, Brad is handsom, but JS is funny, and witty, and wry and intelligent. You can't fake those things. Well, you can fake funny.

    And I hear he has flowers painted on his toenails.

  4. You mean there are people who don't have a crush on Jon Stewart?

    My kids get sick of hearing me shout "take off your clothes" at the tv when Jon's on.....The Honey just rolls his eyes.

    The irony is, The Honey is a short, dark-haired Jewish guy who looks a little like J.S. and I stopped shouting at him to take off his clothes years ago.

    Something about proximity, familiarity, I guess...

  5. 2x4 - Can you fake funny? On TV, I guess.

    DCup - Ha ha! It sounds like you picked a good one, whether you still shout at him to take his clothes off or not.

  6. That is so funny that she asked "does he work?" I always have a similar disconnect when visiting relatives in Ohio. I thanked my brother-in-law for coming home "early" because we had arrived at 5:30pm . . . he was kind of bemused when he told me he always comes home at 5:30pm. And he heads a division at a big company! There are other ways to live than what people do here in DC!

    Not that I would know . . . I quit my job to raise the next generation. But still, funny!

    Karen, random reader

  7. This post scares me - my s/o and I are moving to D.C. in September (I'm a lawyer and just got a job with a government agency). We're originally from KS and have lived in NM for the past two years - both very laid back states. I'm looking forward to the change of city life, but I can't see living at work or only communicating by Blackberry. Am I dreaming?

  8. Karen - There are sooo many other ways to live life than just work! I think putting life first is important. But the men I'm most attracted to never do. Go figure.

    Dionna - It's a choice, and it's definitely not everbody. I don't work all the time. But as I said above, I seem to seek out people who do.

  9. Very funny stuff. Jane is an expert at drinking beer next to random bodies of water. I think that her comment on the work thing is indicative of her own dating situation, which worries me. She's a SOCAL surfer now...

    Your observations about D.C. are dead on. Sad really. I am glad to be out of the dating circuit here.

    Hope all is well!

  10. Tony! Hi! I think it's the residual east coastness coming out in Jane. Because if she were really that SoCal she wouldn't ask the question. I have been harboring vain hopes that she'll move back here, but I have to give up on that. Alas.


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