Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Give Me a Shot and Set Me Up

I get allergy shots. I love my allergist and I love his office staff. I've been going there for years. I get hugs from the nurses. I even tried to set my allergist up with a friend of mine once. They both want to marry someone Jewish and I thought they might like each other. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.

So lately, the nurses at his office have been keeping their eyes open for someone to set me up with. They are Hell-bent on finding me someone.

Both nurses are African American. I think in their 40's. They're very different, but both attractive, kind, and funny. And they can both put on serious attitude when they want to. And so I can imagine them intimidating some of these guys if they feel like it.

I went in one day and they said, "Lisa, we have a guy for you! He was just here! He's divorced, and he's cute." The following week when I returned they'd discovered that he's actually still married. He's said he's in the process of getting divorced. So off the list.

Then they found another guy. "This one's definitely single. We need to take your picture to show him next time he comes in!"

They looked me up and down. "But not today. You're not having a good day. You usually look a lot prettier."


They deemed him "unworthy" upon further investigation. Why? He asked if I made a lot of money. They told him the question was inappropriate and he didn't get to meet me. I was in definite agreement. I'm not going to be of much interest to someone looking for someone with piles of cash. Nor do I want someone with that as a priority.

A couple months ago Tracy, one of the nurses, sidled up to me in the waiting room, and, talking out the side of her mouth said, "Yww see tht gyy ver thrre?"

"Who? Where?"

"Shhh! Come over here!" She jerked her head sideways.

So I went into the nurses' station and she described the guy she was talking about. He's divorced, definitely single, and looking to get married. And, according to her, so handsome!

So I walked back to the waiting room and peered around for the guy she described. Who, to me, looked too old and not particularly attractive.

While I was getting my shot from the other nurse, she got his card from him. And thrust it into my purse. On my way out the door she hissed, "Call him! He wants you to call him!"


The next time I went in, Tracy asked if I'd called him. Of course I hadn't. I had a plethora of excuses at the ready, but before I could say anything, the other nurse, B, said, "Who?"

Tracy answered, "You know, that dentist!"

B responded, "Him? He's too old for her!"

"No he's not! And he's handsome!"

"Too old!"

And so they pulled out his chart and looked up his age. And determined that he was too old. And then B happened to notice his address.

"He lives in an apartment?!? He's a dentist! What's he doing living in an apartment? Why doesn't he have a big, fancy house somewhere?"

"Probably spends all his money supporting his ex-wife."

"You don't need that mess. Good thing you never called him, sweetie."


  1. Your nurses sound like my mother. I don't even have anything else to add. I'm a little frightened, actually.

  2. Oh, wow, I-66. I'm so glad my mom doesn't do that to me.

  3. Why are we so driven to hook people up? Your nurses, you trying to hook up your allergist with someone, me, most women I know...oh, wait...sounds like a woman thang.


  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Stupid Blogger. What I actually wrote was not that funny, and I didn't read the whole post, so, um... nicely formatted.

  6. Dcup - I know! I think it's just the desire to make people happy. I mean, my allergist beamed and hugged me when I set him up with my friend. It was so cute. I was sorry it didn't work out.

    2x4 - OK. :)


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