This is one of my rare NP posts. As in No Parents. If you are a parents who is related to me, as in mine, you probably want to just stop reading. It's not that it's risquee - it'll just make you unhappy.
The last time I rated a post NP, my dad did stopped reading immediately. Betty forged ahead. And made herself unhappy. At the end of the day, all you can do is warn your parents.
So. My dreams are always chaotic, convoluted, confusing. How's that for alliteration? But it's true.
The other night I dreamt I was in a hotel. There were lots of people I know or have known in various places and parts of my life. It didn't make sense that we were all together, or in a hotel, but my dreams always have nonsensical components, and I had a vague sense that I was dreaming, so I didn't question it.
There was this guy who kept following me around. Someone I made up for this dream. He was unattractive - both physically and personality-wise.
Sometimes you meet someone and you don't think they're physically attractive, but there's something that really gets you. Their self-confidence, their sense of humor, something. And that draws you in and makes you really attracted to them. Not with this guy. He was just some annoying guy pestering me.
And he really, really wanted to have sex with me. And just kept following me around. So finally I said, fine, let's just get it over with. Fine.
You know how, when you've been in a relationship for a long, long time, every once in a while you just sort of have sex only because the other person really, really wants to? You're tired, or cranky, or, even though you love them, just not finding them all that attractive on that particular day, and you'd rather not. But sometimes it's just easier, kinder, whateverer to say yes. And sometimes you do, and not gracefully - you're more like, oh, let''s just do it already and get it over with.
Or maybe this is just me. Anyway. That's how this was. Except that he was a complete stranger. Fine. Just get it over with.
And so there we were, about to have sex. And he wanted to spread a blue and yellow striped beach towel across me and hold me down with it. Which seemed weird, but whatever. Fine.
But then, then he pulled out two umbrellas, opened them, and handed me one. What he wanted was for us each to hold an open umbrella during the sex.
And that for me was the final straw. No. Absolutely not.
Somehow, in this dream, I was OK with the sex with the irritating stranger. I was OK with the beach towel. But the umbrellas? Balancing open umbrellas? No. That was just asking too much.