I have a week left of maternity leave.I get all teary when I think about it. I snuggle him and think, oh, our time is running out!
Yes, I realize it's melodramatic. It's not like I'm never going to see him again.
But these nigh on 16 weeks have flown.
In the beginning, time couldn't pass fast enough. I felt stuckstuckstuck. With the breastfeeding, which was so hard. With the diaper changing. With the responding to mystery cries. With the endless getting up at night.
It felt like torture. I just couldn't see a way out except leaving. And I couldn't imagine it getting better.
And then I got my PPD treated, and things got so much brighter. And I learned that we could actually leave our bedroom, and even the house, and nothing more calamitous than an enormous poo would happen.
I even got to the point with breastfeeding where I could do it pretty much anywhere. That Target couch? Don't think I haven't been back, and don't think Big J wasn't hungry.
And I'm thankful I stuck it out. I love the closeness, the amazing connection.
Which is not to say that I won't enjoy having my little boobs back when this is done.
And now, now we have such a good time. We go on walks on nice days. We chat. We play. We cuddle. We laugh.
Let me be frank: it's not that it's never dull. There's only so much tummy time encouragement and playing with Miss Ellie the blue elephant who makes pretty tinkling sounds when you shake her that an adult can do. But it is pretty gratifying to see how excited the boy gets.
And when the weather sucks, and we are aching for entertainment (read: mama needs some fun) we take pictures of ourselves.
I adore his little smirk in this photo. Also, I am so happy the fog has lifted and you are able to enjoy your boy.
ReplyDeleteIt's been 16 weeks already? Amazing! I'm so glad you got your PPD treated. It makes such a difference. I wish I had realized what the hell was wrong with me much earlier! You'll be fine if/when you go back to work. It makes the time you have with them so sweet! And as long as you find good care, things will be fine. Jess started daycare at 4 months and she's still at the same place (now in preschool) at 4 years. She LOVES it there and they love her. I figure the more people that you get love from the better, right?
ReplyDeleteas much as your new-mom posts sometimes scares the ovaries out of me it's these posts that keep me reminded of why i CAN'T WAIT to start our family!! (of course i am waiting... i like my lil'(and painfree)boobs too : )
ReplyDeletei'm so looking forward to the walks, the cuddling, the pictures! thanks for reminding me!
How cute is he! And I think your story is so incredibly important - that you need to take care of yourself in order to really take care of your little one.
ReplyDeleteAlso, yay for laptops with a camera built in, and fun photo effects. THINK of what you'll be able to show (or threaten to show) his future girlfriends!!!
For weeks and weeks I've wanted to comment and somehow never get the chance to:
ReplyDelete1. Your boy is so so adorable. And BIG! He looks like Nick. I want to pinch his cheeks (J's not Nick's)!
2. I'm so glad you're to the point of enjoying your time with him.
3. I know I had more praises and brilliant insight, but I keep going back to look at Smirky J and have now forgotten it all.
Only a week left?!? But you were just starting to have fun!
ReplyDeleteIf I win the lottery, I'm going to pay you to stay at home with the little guy.
Lemmonex - Me, too! The only reason he didn't have his wide-mouthed stare going is because he had no idea it was a camera. Usually he gets all focused on the camera and stops smiling.
ReplyDeletecla517 - I think you are right - the more people you get love from, the better. You can't have too many people who love you.
notsojenny - There are many uterus-clamping things about pregnancy and kids, but overall, it's the best thing I've ever done. Evereverever.
Dagny - It is true. You have to make sure you're in good shape to deal.
And who knew how fun the camera and effects would be?!?
freckledk - I know! And thank you. My fingers are crossed for you to win. If we don't.
Oops - Girl With Curious Hair - Thank you thank you thank you. What nice things to say!
ReplyDelete16 weeks is absolutely ridiculous, in my opinion. Women in the US should have the option of taking a full year - just like most other developed countries.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, congrats on coming through this, and good luck. Enjoy the last week!
so smirky smirk cute.
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