Thursday, December 17, 2009


Not only is my husband significantly bigger and stronger than I am, but he's also much harder working, and more serious of purpose.

For starters, he can do things like carry an entire couch up the stairs all by himself. While I struggle with half a bureau.

So there's that.

Plus, he's better at seeing things through. I'll start a project all kinds of enthusiastic. And then I'll get bored, and move on to something newer and more interesting. Until that gets tedious.

He starts, sweats through, and finishes.

So I want to make it clear: I'm very impressed with my husband for his strength, his abilities, his character, and about a zillion other things. Very.

But he's one hell of a slow walker.

The problem, as far as I can tell, is that he's an ambler. He's one of those amblish people I wind up stuck behind and want to stab on my walk to work.

Because when I walk, I walk fast. I mean fastfast. I want the exercise. I hate the stroll. And I am short, and so my legs have to move extra to walk that fast.

Strangers on the street have expressed surprise at my speed.

But now, now Nick and I are walking to work together. I agreed to when he agreed to speed up.

And he has, but still in my head I am all, Christ, man, your legs are twice as long as mine! How am I faster than you?

At first I thought maybe it was his sheer bulk that slowed him down. But then I thought, you know, hippos are huge, and yet really fast and can turn on a dime.

Not, I assure you, that I have ever compared you to a hippo, sweetheart.

But what I've realized is it's more of a personality thing than a size thing.

Nick notices all these architectural details on buildings we walk by. He pays attention to what's around him. He likes to enjoy the sunshine.

I haven't actually seen him stop and smell the roses, but he's a stop and smell the roser.

Whereas I am all, yes, yes, nice building, pretty sunshine. Hurry it up! Fuck the roses!


  1. There's a time and place for walking fast, when you've got to get somewhere or you're late for something. But when you're strolling along with the love of your life some men may just want to squeeze those precious moments for all they're worth.

    Or, I've noticed, it often happens the shorter you are the faster you tend to walk. When you're 6 feet-plus (as some folks are), you know you can move fast, but choose not to so as to avoid looking like a charging hippo.

  2. I used to work for a semi-pro basketball team, so I watched a lot of tall and VERY tall guys running up and down the court. It seems a bit harder for the really tall ones to get moving, and it's not very graceful. I can't explain it, there's just something about that big, tall, long-limbed frame that seems difficult to move forward.

    That said, I think part of it is how you're raised. My dad's a fast walker, so my brother and I both are. It was learn to move it or get left behind. So even if it's hard to get all those long limbs in motion and moving forward, you do it. Or get really good at noticing landmarks and finding your way home.

  3. I can't slow down either. And there aren't many people who walk faster than me, but they are, with one exception, shorter than me.

    So maybe tall fast-walkers are a rarity? I really don't know that many...

  4. I'm a fast walker too. And, I'm not very observant about my surroundings. I just have too much other stuff on my mind! My hubby is always like "Did you see that"" and my response is always the same "see what?" (And he and I are the same height, so I think it's an attitude thing, not a height thing!)

  5. You are deceivingly quick for such a small person.

  6. Also, as long as he's not a pokey driver, you're still in pretty good shape. :)

  7. FoggyDew - I get the time and place thing, although I'm still not a stroller, a meanderer, a tiptoe through the tulipser. This, however, this is not strolling time! This is on the way to work in the morning! I am usually late and I mean business!

    Lisa - That is really interesting. Is there more resistance?

    My dad was a very fast walker as well. In the beginning, I had to take three steps to his two to keep up.

    Dagny - I don't know. Being short, I've never noticed. But the tall people commenting are in consensus.

    cla517 - Yes! I am always in my head! Nick points out all kinds of interesting things that I've walked by 54 million times. I don't notice anything. I thinkthinkthink and walkwalkwalk.

    Rindy - I know. I hate the image of scurrying, but I fear I might.

  8. Rindy - Also, he's definitely not a pokey driver. He's a much better, and faster driver than I am.

  9. My husband is the EXACT same way! He will take the scenic drives when we have to be somewhere on time. We live in Florida so he's easily distracted by WATER! PALM TREE! LIZARD! It drove me nuts but after five years of marriage, now I just shake my head and try and enjoy the ride with him. - Melinda

  10. i don't know how this trait develops - one's walking pace. my mom and i are fast walkers like you. my sister and father were always always dragging behind! it's so annoying.
    i was lucky to find a husband that walks fast too, though i still have to slow down a little to walk with him, it helps if i hold his hand or hook my arm in his (it allows me to hurry him a little without his realizing it... you should try it : )

  11. I'm not huge but I am 5'8" so I feel like I can comment as a tall woman. I am a fast walker. Fastfast. Like, get out of my way before I punch you in the ear, fast. It's especially bad during the summer when there are many tourists in Vancouver. I feel like I'm giving them a bad impression of my city because they're trying to enjoy themselves and I'm barrelling through all "EXCUSE ME! Places to go, people to see!" Fucking dawdlers drive me crazy.

  12. I'm a fast walker unless the ocean happens to be at my side. I think of poking people and tripping people and all kinds of horrible things when they get in my way on most days. But I like that Nick's a stop and smell the roses kinda guy. As long as he hugs the side of the sidewalk.

  13. Damn these people who live in the moment! I've got to be somewhere else!

  14. Oh god dont you loath slow walkers, especially this time of the year in the Malls. I want to get in, get what I need and get the hell out of there and I dodge duck and sidestep around all these crazy people slow walking I mean if they walked any slower they would be going backwards I swear it.
    I envisgae just shoving them out of the way and pushing them over or tripping them up, that gives me a secret sadistic smile on my face.

  15. except for the time you got your nose caught in the neighbors flowers... (:


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