Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.

I feel like I repeatedly thank you for the kindness, lovely thoughts, advice. But I don't think that you can over-appreciate people. So thank you again.


I don't know if you've ever worn a cute warm magenta sweater dress to work? One that you wore once out to a party and it was super cute, but once you washed it you weren't sure if maybe it was just a wee bit too short? Or stuck to your tights too much?

And you thought both of these were maybe true? But your husband said it was fine, and you really wanted to wear it?

Still with me?

And so to mitigate the possible shortness or possible stick-to-your-assness you decided to wear these nude spandex suck in your everything shorts kinds of things. You know, so that the dress would just hang smoother, the spandex between your dress and tights would encourage gliding rather than clinging.

It seems like a good solution. No?

Until you walk into the bathroom and catch a glimpse of yourself in the full-length mirror.

Only to discover that there has been more clinging that gliding, and in fact you have two rings of nude-colored spandex peeping below your dress. A little like a parfait, from top to bottom: pink dress, layer of nude spandex, black tights, and knee-high black boots.

Cute. I assure you.


  1. Been there, done that! I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding and the dress really required either nothing underneath or some of those suck you in short things to avoid horrid VPL. I decided to do a "test run" with the Spanx a week before the wedding.

    Cut to me running all around town and not noticing I've got a solid inch of the bottom of my Spanx sticking out below the bottom of my cute black, empire waist tank dress because I tied the sash a bit differently which hitched the back of the dress up a bit.

  2. Now I cannot stop repeating that line in my head, with the accent.

  3. Jessica - Argh! But thank goodness it was in your test run and not the wedding! I am hating this undergarment malfunction business.

    Lisa - Someone was talking about colors and I blurted out "blush and bashful" - which meant nothing to them as they'd never seen Steel Magnolias, but that totally put me in the mood for that movie.

  4. How can they not have seen Steel Magnolias?!??!??

    Maybe it's a southern girl thing. I've not only seen in multiple times, I can work the accent pretty well too.

  5. One of my favorite quotes from Steel Magnolias! I love how you take everything in stride Lisa. The dress / tights / boots ensemble sounds fun, especially for winter.

  6. Me too! I have the accent down to a science. I watch that movie at least once a year. Lisa, you painted such a great picture of your dress with the spandex I can almost see it, lol. Been there as well - bet it was one long day: )

  7. You wore the spanx over the tights? Interesting...

  8. i love a post with a title that stays with you all day : )
    i have a habit of dressing in a hurry and not checking out a full length mirror until half way through the day, i've run into issues like this before. typically it's my hair or makeup though, i'll pass a mirror and stop dead in my tracks - WHAT THE?!? it looked good when i did it... i thought...

  9. That happened to me... Except it was a black sweater dress with red pumps. Really cute. Until I noticed the stupid push-everything-in nude shorts were showing in the back when I walked in the bathroom.


  10. I'm sure it was CUTE. ;)

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  12. Spandex and Steel Magnolias-love it! You should have had someone take a picture of your parfait-ness. :)

  13. Every time I think I am so alone in my little "moments"... you remind me that I am not.

    I love you for that.

  14. ditto to lilu. been there, done that. im glad im not alone!

  15. Lisa - I don't know. It's one of my favorites.

    HKW - I love dress/tights/high boots for winter! One of my favorite things about winter is boots.

    Kate - Ha! I would love to hear
    it! And yes, one long day of pulling down the dress, scooting up the spandex, cursing my outfit.

    Wendy - They weren't planned, and the tights and boots were already on when I realized I needed some help.

    notsojenny - I lived without a full length mirror for six years...I'd regularly think I looked great, only to find some craziness going on.

    Beach Bum - Ugh. I spent so much time thinking about offices I'd walked in and out of before I saw what was going on.

    Jules - you know it.

    Peace Turkey - :)

    kayare - I'm willing to have pics of me with no makeup or making ridiculous faces or whatever, but I have to draw the line here.

    LiLu - And same to you, my darling.

  16. Along with Cool Hand Luke and The Shining, Steel Magnolias was one of three movies my Marine platoon had to watch during the entirety of the first Gulf War. Don't ask me how, the three tapes came with the TV and VCR that showed up at our unit one day. Didn't matter that it was a chick flick, we still watched it. Many times.

    As for the rest of it, as a guy I really can't relate, but I'm sure you looked fab anyway.

  17. This has nothing to do with your wardrobe malfunction (sorry!), but the Steel Magnolia reference seems so timely. The holiday party for my restaurant took a total nosedive, as Steel Magnolias was playing in the background. We all eventually got sucked in. Imagine two women and ten gay men, sitting at a bar, bawling (BAWLING!) over Shelby not being able to run to Texas and back.

    Lamest. Party. Ever.

  18. Lisa,
    I TOTALLY had a wardrobe malfunction yesterday. I was meeting with my boss who works on the opposite end of the country and who I see rarely. I looked pretty cute - I actually managed to shower and put on a nice ruffly black blouse. The meeting went really well. He asked me about my career aspirations - I told him and he nodded.

    After I walked out of the meeting, my friend Patty came over and said - oh no! two of your buttons are undone!

    So basically I flashed my boss. Really really bad. And he probably thinks I want to be a pole dancer when I grow up.



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