A little piece of my heart breaks off every time I leave in the morning.
There could be a trail of heart crumbs between my home and my office.
The last couple mornings, instead of falling right back to sleep after eating, he's been all chit-chatty. Nick doesn't usually see much of him at night, so he gets his baby fix before work.
And he is hilarious. He talks and beams, shoves his fist in his mouth, pulls it out, and chats some more. My face regularly gets sore from smiling so much.
Somehow, I never expected going back to work to be this hard. Not just in terms of the pumping, or the getting milk organized, or the readjusting to an outside schedule, although all of those things have me spinning.
But not being with my baby, after such intense time together? Oh, this tramples me.
Days with a baby are long and exhausting. There are a lot of tedious moments. But boy, is there so much fun and sweetness. I don't think I've ever had such a sense of purpose.
And Wednesday evening I got home after my first day at work, and Jordan was sitting on my mom's lap. He looked at me very coolly, then turned his head away. I got his attention, and he gave me the same, oh, you, kind of look. And turned his head the other way.
My mom was all, "That's your pretty mama! Your mama's home!"
He ignored me. He looked up at Betty and beamed.
You wouldn't think a four-month old could hurt your feelings, would you?
It took him a while to warm up to me. And then he got hungry and we were all tight again.
If it weren't Betty, I think it would just kill me. Although it aches me not to be there, I love that they have such a good time together. She loves him like crazy, and wow, does he love her right back.