I don't know if you maybe you have a pair of boots you think are really cute, but they have some rubber ridges on the soles that tend to make you stumble a little?
Which is all fine and well if you tend to trip a lot anyway, because then, really, what else is new?
And you usually wear them with your erection skirt, but you gave that away while you were pregnant, so you now - now being today - wear them with brown gaucho pants and a beige T-shirt and a little denim jacket.
This is all very cute and sort of springy but also sort of warm in case the weather man lied -- which he didn't, and it's spring! And you could be wearing sandals, but ah, well.
Anyway. You've worn this combo before, and you are sure that you've had to pee multiple times over the course of owning these pants and boots.
You must've. Without a problem.
But on this particular day, as you try to stand up from the toilet and pull up your pants, which you are trying to be quick about, because you're late for a meeting, the ridged rubber of one boot sort of catches in one swooshy wide leg.
This means that as you try to push your foot through while pulling up, that foot gets stuck mid-air. You don't realize it's stuck until you simultaneously push and pull hard.
Which causes you to off-balance yourself and stagger a little. On one leg. And being that those bathroom stalls aren't spacious, to maybe careen from one wall to the other.
At some point it may seem like you are going to go down. But you catch yourself after hitting the second wall.
And right yourself just in time.
By this I mean in time to assure the concerned voice from another stall that everything is, in fact, OK in there.