What to do if you find yourself in rural Africa with two-foot boobs and no bra. In three easy steps.

Yesterday one of my commenters said she thinks mammograms are easier if you have more real estate, and I think that's probably true. In many cases.

Because the woman had to squoosh me up against the machine, and push and contort me a bit to get it all in there. Although maybe they do this to everyone?

For me, my post baby boobs are pretty much the same. Just...well, sadder. That's the best way I can describe it. They went from being these happy little cupcakes to being a little weary.

The world was too much with them.

Breastfeeding apparently makes your breast tissue less dense and decreases your chance of breast cancer. This reduced density makes them more easily flattenable in the mamm-machine. Big plus.

So the woman contorted and coaxed and squooshed, and then, when she was satisfied, I looked down. Since the top of the vise (I doubt that's the actual term) is plexiglass, you can see your boob all flattened in front of you, like a sugar cookie pressed onto a sheet.

Very bizarre.

I kind of wanted to take a picture. But what would you do with it?

But back to the real estate. Here's what I've been thinking about.

So you know those National Geographic pictures of women with their super thin boobs hanging two feet down with a little nipple at the end staring down at the ground?

Maude said that when she lived in the Congo, women would take their long, stretched boobs, and roll them up. They'd start with the nipple and roll them up until they were at the top, and then they'd tuck them into their garments like tin cans. She told me this yeeeeaaaars ago.

I'm quite sure I'll remember it to my dying day.

After yesterday, I began wondering. How would you mammographize such long boobs? It's one thing to mash big ones down, but could those machines cover a two-foot long area? Or would they fold them over, since they're very thin?

And that's about all I'm going to say on boobs for the week. Happy weekend, all!