Badger vs. Tasmanian Devil, According to Bob

I work with this very cute, young guy named Bob. He's totally hilarious and refreshing, and describes himself as "That guy who looks like he's just gotten his eyebrows perfectly waxed."

He's the only person I know who makes you feel like a teenage boy when you're talking to him.

His favorite Christmas present - and one he would sincerely recommend for any guy - one of those lights you can strap to your head. He said it's his best present ever. It's great for working on the car, or digging around in a dark cupboard, or even just reading a book. The other day he was watching TV and forgot he was wearing it.

Someone suggested he wear it driving, and he said it might be helpful to avoid hitting deer. Which reminded me that my insurance company recently told me that the premium for hitting a deer is lower than for normal accidents, because if you have the choice, they want you to go ahead and hit the deer rather than driving into another car, or a tree, for example.

This prompted a discussion of the damage that deer, moose, and even large pigs can do to your car. Which then led us to the meanness of particular kinds of animals.

Now, one of my colleagues is Indian, and so she and I share some of the same stories about the meanness of monkeys (really, they are!) and cows who will chase you down the street just because they're hungry and bitter and looking for someone to take their anger out on.

They get turned loose when they are no longer useful. And you can't kill them, because it's a Hindu country. So they wander the streets starving, chewing posters off walls, mad as all get-out. Honestly, I still have a huge knot in my thigh from an angry cow veering across the street and stabbing me in the leg ten years ago. Just because.

Hippos, though, hippos are what you really need to be scared of. They're fast, and mean, and they can turn on a dime! All of these things are true.

And so this started a discussion of how a hippo and a crocodile are apparently evenly matched in a fight. And so now Bob is on a find-evenly-matched-animals kick.

This could get pretty interesting.