Conversation with three colleagues - Kay, Steve, and Eric - on the way back from a Starbucks run.
Steve thinks our UPS guy is hot. "Oh. My. God. Did you see UPS Guy today?"
UPS Guy is big and muscular, and, in my opinion, slightly scary looking. He doesn't smile. He has a big face and a shiny shaved head.
I replied, "You know we don't have the same taste in men. Remember - you liked Neck Guy on that show."
"The sewing one."
"Right. Project Runway. Whatever. That guy is totally hot."
"Anyway, we don't have the same taste in men."
Steve rolled his eyes at my lack of taste. "So UPS Guy. Of course he had on his little brown shorts, but he also had on the cutest Santa hat!"
Kay said, "You know, I've just never gotten into the bald guy thing. I don't see the appeal."
And I said, "I never did, until I dated this big bald British guy. Except for not being circumcised, he was totally hot."
Brief and shocked pause.
Steve and Eric don't know what to do with this. Kay, who has told me that her mother described to her how she once put a rubber band on a guy's penis and it was too tight and he panicked and it got stuck, is not remotely fazed.
Kay makes a face. "Not circumcised?"
Steve, who can't believe I've said this, also can't contain his curiosity. I know from his blog that he has slept with women, but that was years and years ago. "Wow! You women can tell?"
Kay and I look at him. "Of course you can tell."
"Huh! Women are much more sensitive than I'd have imagined!"
"Sensiti...? Oh! No, no, not... Heh. I mean. Um. Just, you know. When you. And. Yeah. You know. Um."
We keep walking, eyes forward, totally avoiding looking at each other.
"Way to make things awkward, Lis."