I take the cold as a personal affront. I get so offended when it is hideously cold out. And yes, I realize this is ridiculous. It has nothing to do with me. I get it. But it doesn't stop me.
Seriously. I can never say, "It's 24 degrees out." Rather, I say, "It's 24 fucking degrees out! What the fuck is wrong with this place?"
Somehow the fuck word makes it all a little better. Or maybe it's the vitriol that warms me.
As I was complaining bitterly about the temperature this morning, a friend of mine suggested that I start a letter writing campaign. I should absolutely protest the unfair cold.
He was all kinds of delighted with the idea of expressing your outrage over something inane but going through the "proper channels" to do so. Of course this was mental masturbation on his part. But I like that sort of thing.
So what would the proper channels be ? I mean, where would you send such a letter? I get protesting global warming, but to whom would you protest something like the cold?
Would you write to the White House? Ha. Would you send them to rock stars, like Moby and Bono? How about the Scientologists? Tom Cruise and John Travolta?
It's kind of amusing to think about. But then, when you stop to consider it, the real question is: who do you think has the power to effect change in the world?