The truth is, I'm not bothered by this anymore. I was for about two solid days, though. It took some thinking to figure out why it bugged me so much.
I received an email from my most serious ex-boyfriend. The one I was with for ages, and about whom I've written extensively.
Here's essentially what it said, paraphrased and greatly condensed:
"Hi group of blind-copied people! I'm sending New Year's wishes from vacation in an exotic location, resting up for a busy upcoming year. I'm selling my condo and most of my furniture. Here are the details, in case you know anyone who is on the market for a place or nice furniture. Also, I'm not moving very far, so I'll still be in the neighborhood. All the best to all of you."
Fairly innocuous and informational, right?
It bothered me so much. Truthfully, what bothered me most was that I was really bothered. Because I don't still want to be with him or harbor any hope of some future reconciliation or have some fantasy that we'd actually be happy if we'd gotten back together.
But still, it bugged. Why did I get this? More importantly, why did receiving it upset me?
Given the celerity with which I delete people - from phone and email - there's no way he'd ever randomly wind up on any missive I was sending out. Plus, I didn't understand why I was on the distribution list. He's too thorough for it to be accidental, and his work contacts are in far-flung locations, so he didn't just send to everyone in his address book.
So I spent some time chewing on the why why why of the upset of it. And then I realized!
Forget what he wrote. Here's what I read:
"Hi Lis. I'm at an amazing resort having a fabulous, relaxing vacation. The kind I never took with you because I worked all the time instead. You'd love it. I've met the most amazing woman and I love her 85 times more than I ever loved you. I'm moving in with her, which of course is why I'm selling my place and my furniture - especially the pieces you helped me choose.
We have soooo much fun! And even though I have an even more stressful job than when we were together (see email signature below) I don't work 20 hours a day anymore, and so we do fun things in the evening and on the weekends. Also? I'm not tired and easily annoyed all the time anymore, probably because I love her so much. We're spending the upcoming year planning the most lavish, exotic wedding you can imagine. Wow, are we busy with fun stuff. It's exhausting being this deliriously happy."
You see what I mean?