Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A woman's closet is a deep ocean of secrets

Alternate title: Nearer my closet to thee

You know when you start spending loads of time somewhere that you don't live? You need stuff. You need clothes to wear to work, clothes to run in, clothes to hang out in.

At a point, it becomes ridiculous to keep hauling one clean outfit in one dirty outfit out. It's an endless and cumbersome process. Right?

So you are given a drawer. Your own drawer! This initially seems drastic. But practical.

And then quickly not quite enough. See, I started with one drawer, and immediately filled it. It's winter. Clothes like fleece and sweaters take up a lot of room, you know?

To mitigate the piling of clothing, which maybe I am very prone to, I was given a second drawer. Which suddenly and inexplicably was packed to the brim. I didn't make any great display of cramming things in to close the drawer, or pulling everything out when I wanted to find something shoved at the back. But, well, it's hard to live out of two drawers. And a bit of closet.

The cramming of the drawers, however, did not escape attention. "You have a lot of clothes, don't you?"

Heh. Bat eyelashes.

"I have a few. Why?"

"It's just dawning on me that this is the tip of the iceberg."

I consider assuaging his fears by protesting, or feigning innocence or surprise that he'd think that. But really, where does lying ever get you?

So I just agree. "Yeah. That's a good way to put it."

He starts with an explanation of icebergs, how what you see on the surface can be only 10 percent of what's really there. But I already know about this.

And so I say, with no allusion to Rose and Jack, "Oh, yes. This current situation? Is like the Titanic."

PS I know the drawings look like they were done by a three year old on crack. But that's just me trying to draw in Photoshop.


  1. This is *exactly* how my relationship with my boyfriend was at the beginning. Before being given drawers, I actually got a bigger purse so that I could carry my makeup, deodorant, underwear, clean shirt etc. around with me, since I never knew if I'd wind up at his place or not.

  2. Haha, I love the drawings.

  3. Imagine if your clothes were the size of my clothes? I can't take a spare pair of shoes with me if I want to fly with only carry on bags because one pair of my shoes takes up almost the entire bag. My jeans probably take up three or four times as much room as yours do.

    You've got it easy my friend. ;-P

  4. Mass of your clothes is to US as his are to Canada....on the map your delusional ex-boss requested :) For some reason that post came to mind when reading this one, I need sleep.

    The iceberg of clothes drawing is quite nice - interesting there are no sweaters or fleece pictured, but a swimsuit?

  5. LOL, I have the same problem. Though FAM's space is limited for his own stuff, so for the moment, I have a shelf.

    And my own pillow. And toothbrush. And contact case and solution.

    Seriously, there are moments when I feel like I should just move in.

  6. Nice of hkw to assume you drew your swimsuit, but I suspect Lisa was showing us her underwear

    Now to more serious matters - I have never moved in with anyone before - we bought a house when I was married, and I kept it in the divorce... my question is : How do you decide who moves in with whom when you both have busy lives and cool apartments (houses whatever) and you have built your life around the place you live?

  7. So WHY is Blogger not emailing me all these fun comments today?

    Nicole - I know! Isn't that a hassle? I have been known to go to a nice restaurant with jeans in my purse for exactly that reason!

    MM - Thanks :) I try.

    VVK - I cannot even imagine. His clothes are pretty much your size, and they take up an extraordinary amount of room. I do have it easy. But he's eventually going to be overwhelmed with the sheer volume. Heh.

    HKW - That made me laugh out loud. Thanks! :) And I think no fleece or sweaters because my drawing abilities are, well, you saw what they are. That and I'm fantasizing about being warm.

    ECT - It's weird, isn't it, when you start figuring out the bare minimum you need to stay somewhere else and still look nice for work?

    GaryQ - Oh, goodness - I'm not moving in - just staying a lot. The truth is, my location is better (in my opinion) but my place is tiny - just beg enough for me, and I am small. And he has a lovely place and lots of space.

  8. Lisie, I just LOVE love LOVE the visuals here. You reminded me that I lived out of a suitcase when Walker and I first met. Honestly, it was maybe a few months into the relationship, and I (maybe we?) just decided to just leave a suitcase full of necessities (like bathing suits and sundresses, of course.) It was too hard traveling back and forth all the time. A little different because it was long distance, but still. A closet and two drawers is a more permanent feeling.

  9. I loved that first picture! You're right -- at least with our smaller clothes, we can fit MORE of them into a small space. :)

  10. That is the most hilarious thing I have read all day. ANd so true! My closet is like an iceberg!! hahaha. I love it...


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