You know how when you know someone really well, and you've spent a lot of time in a row together, conversation can devolve into the arena of truly inane? And maybe completely gross?
So at some point Maude and I were traveling. And we'd already discussed our lives inside and out. And so, somehow, the conversation took a turn for the scatological. And absurd. In the following way.
One of us asked the other, and I really cannot remember who started it, the following. Say you were really in need of money, and someone wanted to poo on your foot - your foot being the point on your body that's furthest from your face.
Would you do it? And if so, what's the lowest price you would accept?
We do realize that nobody is ever going to be beating down the door to pay us for the privilege of taking a poo on either of our feet.
But just suspend reality for a second.
We agreed that you wouldn't want to accept less than $10,000. I've since had this conversation with people who would do it for $5,000, and one guy who said hell, he'd do it for $50.
So there are bargains to be found. But honestly. It's poo! On part of your body!
It turns out, though, that as we've talked about it further and with others, there are a whole lot of possible variables involved in price setting.
1. Would it be different if it were a person of the same gender? Does gender matter?
2. Would you charge more, for example, if you had to pat the person on the head and offer words of encouragement?
3. How much more would it cost for you to pretend you were enjoying it?
4. What if it were someone you worked with? Even though neither of you would ever speak of it? Because you'd have to see the person every day, and you'd think, "You! Poo! Foot!"
And so on. It's super disgusting, and ridiculous, and not within the realm of ever ever possibilities. And yet the topic recurs every couple years.
The thing I find truly astounding is not the fact that we would actually set a price to it, but rather that we waste all kinds of time discussing various aspects of crap like this.
No pun intended.