Wednesday, August 04, 2010

And if it isn't a name, it should be.

(Photo credit:
Of course I think of myself as a thinker. But then I realized that we probably all do, no? Who is ever all, oh, I just don't like to think too hard?

This is something that made me stop and question myself, because I really was all, do I just not think enough?

It's true that if you tell me something with enough conviction I'll believe you. Like the fact that clothing clogs hot tub filters. Yes, I know, I know. Now.

But it made me wonder if just go ahead and believe things however they're presented to me. Maybe I don't have a complicated enough mind?

Or, maybe, maybe it's that I'm so open minded, and have been exposed to so many cultures, that I don't question when something doesn't line up with my experience?

I don't know. But so look, here's the thing.

Do you watch Big Love?

If so, you know Hollis Green, the creepy prophet of the other polygamist group. If not, well, there are two big groups of polygamists that feature in the story, and creepy Roman Grant leads one of them and creepy Hollis leads the other.

Evil and creepy creepy.

Hollis, it turns out, has a solid first wife named Selma, pictured above, who typically dresses in suits and has a man's haircut pixie cut. Selma turns out to be Roman's sister.

In other words, she's a woman.

Does she look like a woman to you?

Because I always thought she was a man. I thought she was he and he was Hollis's minion.

And then there was this one episode where it became clear that he was she because she was Roman's sister. Hollis's WIFE!

We were watching and I yelled, "Holy crap! Selmer isn't a man! She's a woman!"

This wasn't news to Nick. "Of course she's a woman."

"How did you know?"

"Her name is Selma. How many men do you know named Selma?"

"Her name's not Selma. It's Selmer! And now Selmer is a woman!"

"It's Selma. Selmer isn't a real name."

"Sure it is."

"Is not. Have you ever met a Selmer?"

"Absolutely. My Uncle Selmer."


"Yeah, you're right. But it's a name."


  1. haha, i'm not sure if i realized it when you did or when Nick did but i remember being SHOCKED too. and i wouldn't exactly call his/her cut a "pixie cut" but speaking of Big Love did you ever see Ginnifer Goodwin's pixie cut?

  2. Yes! I loved hers! But she is so adorable, she could shave her head and she'd still be beautiful.

  3. dude, I can't tell from that picture which one is the dude and which one is Selma.

  4. If you are not thinky enough, then I don't know who is. The thing is, you spend your thinky time being existential and whatnot, not pondering the sex of fictional evil creepy types.

    And yes, it should be a name.

  5. I saw the picture in my reader and thought ... hmm ... what tale is she going to spin around 2 *men* posing weird in a photograph !

    Hi ! from India !

  6. I knew she was a woman pretty early on, but that didn't change how creeped out I was by her.

    And Selmer IS a real name. Selmer is a maker of musical instruments (Henri Selmer). So you're totally right.

  7. Selma looks like one of the top twins. They are New Zealand lesbian sisters who are entertainers and they do this skit called the two Kens and well yeah I knew it was a woman in the picture but thought oh how come one of the top twins are in that pic lol.
    You are a thinker, and you think plenty and deeply about stuff. It comes through in your blog. I only watched a couple of episodes of big love. I do have a friend who is in a poly amorous relationship that sent me into overdraft research mode when I first heard about it.

  8. Hillary - Exactly.

    Dagny - I spend plenty of time pondering equally ridiculous shit. But I like being thought of as a super thinky type by someone as intelligent as you.

    mysterious_malady - Oh, hi in India!! Yes, two men. Selmer and Roman.

    Stevie - They are all super creepy, aren't they? And yay! It's a name! Ha!

    Go-Betty - I think I think a lot. I just accept a lot of stuff as fact as well, though. AND! That would definitely send me into overdraft research mode. Fascinating!

  9. I am utterly confused. But that's okay. Right?

  10. OK, I am reading this at midnight DC time. But I had to laugh. My mom's maiden name is Sellmer! It is a name! But, my cousin Scott always thought my mom looked like Glen Campbell. HA! This will have me chuckling all the way to REM sleep. Thanks Lisa, Too Funny!

  11. I recognized the woman in the pic as an actress that played the grandma in "Napoleon Dynamite". Otherwise, I wouldn't have guessed it was a woman.

  12. I did not know she was a woman either! And wasn't someone in Charlotte's web named Selmer?

  13. I googled it out of curiosity. Selmer is a German male's name, it means "Ruler of the village." There was also an actor named Selmer Jackson

  14. As I was reading this I thought you forgot to put in the right picture because the picture you had was of two men. You could tell me either way & I would believe you!

  15. Lisa - Yes. Absolutely. It's likely it doesn't make any sense.

    Lynn - You made me laugh SO HARD with your cousin Scott thinking your mom looked like Glen Campbell.

    amisare waswerebeen - I didn't see that movie. I started it and it seemed like it would bug me. I don't recall seeing her in anything else.

    Samantha - Now I have to look up Charlotte's web. Thank you for the info! I am so glad to know it's a first name and what it means. I wonder if it's the male version of Selma?

    artichoke - Yes! Thank you! I thought she was a man for ages.

  16. Of course there's a Selmer. Everyone knows he's first cousin to big ol' Cheeto Lindo. Jeeze Nick, get with the program.


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