So, yesterday I got this email from a friend asking for advice.
I'll call her Molly.
She's about to head to Asia for three conferences during which she will be working with local counterparts, and she wanted to know what I thought about the following: "I’m still pondering whether it’s completely rude to tell them I don’t eat dog when I answer their question about dietary restrictions. You’re a woman of the world…what do you think? It’s Taiwan."
To which I could only say, "Yikes! I have no idea."
When I lived in this little village in Ecuador, I made sure everyone knew I was a vegetarian. Because I just couldn't handle eating guinea pig (an expensive delicacy) or blood pudding, or tripe or various and sundry organs.
I say I'll try anything once, but weird meat is a grand exception.
So I told her this knowing it's not an option for her. Molly is vegetable-averse. She practically subsists on beef.
And so she said: "That’s it. I’m bringing crackers. One guy keeps threatening me with puppy milkshakes."
So then I thought, oh, he must be one-upped! "Make him cupcakes iced with dog poo!"
This idea delighted her. She pointed out, however, that she'd have to check it and it would likely get smushed. Because you simply cannot carry a dog-poo cupcake on the plane.
And then, we wondered, does TSA even allow feces on planes? What if it's under three ounces?
She's considering just making them there. Fresh is best, after all.