I don't know if you've spent any time looking at air fresheners.
There's a spray can in the bathroom at work. It's called Morning Linen. Which, if you think about it, is kind of an odd name for a smell.
Because linen on its own doesn't really have a smell, does it? And you can only associate times of day with particular smells if you associate them with what's going on.
Like, morning might smell like breakfast cooking. Mmm, coffee and cinnamon and maple syrup!
But morning could also smell like last night's debauchery. Eww, too much alcohol and, uh, I can't believe I brought you home with me.
I get that they're trying to conjure up crispness and cleanliness. I looked up some others. Linen seems to be popular. Linen and breezes and spring and water. Linen and Sky, Crisp Breeze, New Zealand Springs, Refreshing Spring...
So then I started thinking about names for air fresheners that would be distinctly unpopular:
Afternoon on the Ganges
Adams Morgan Alleys
New York Subway Breeze
Evening Rush Hour on Metro
You'd think I'd put my mind to a higher purpose, wouldn't you? Or maybe you know me well enough by now.