Thursday, December 08, 2011

We don't poop in the bathtub!

Yah, so, Jordan pooped in the bathtub the other night.

Apparently, this happens to everyone. It's just a matter of time.

We have these texturey sliding doors on the tub, and lately, once a bath, he likes to close them and splash around all privately for a couple minutes. I see no harm in letting him. I can see, so I know if he's up and about and not drowning.

So he announced that it was time to close the doors, and I let him. I could see that he was sitting up. He was being awfully quiet, but I figured that maybe he'd discovered his penis.

After a couple minutes of quiet I said, "I'm opening the door!"

"No, mama! Keep your face away!"

And then I went ahead and slid open the door anyway, and there were three long strings of poop, bobbing in the tub.

I won't bore you with the cleaning up and scrubbing down details, but after we both got over the poop trauma and got all clean and into jammies, Jordan announced, "We don't poop in the bathtub!"

"No, we don't."

"And we don't poop in Daddy's bed!"

"You're right. We don't poop in Daddy's bed."

"And we don't poop in Nana's bed!"

"Actually, we don't poop in anyone's bed."

He pointed to the toy-filled tub in his room. "But we can poop in that bathtub."

Because we are not raising him in the same places and way that my brother and I were raised, this seemed a good time to say that we only poop in diapers, and potties and toilets - and nowhere else.

We now have regular conversations, however, of where we don't poop. The sofa. The floor. The chair.

Um, right. No, no, and no.


  1. Ugh. You're right, it does happen to everyone. And every one of us is truamatized. Hope it was only a one time occurrence for you!

  2. I can just see it now. It's Back-To-School night, and you're chatting with the parents of J's kindergarten classmates, and someone asks which one is yours.

    "J! Tall, handsome..."

    The other parents' kid comes over and says "Yeah, Mommy. That's the one who talks about poo all the time."

    Clearly his parents' child.

  3. I've missed discussion of poo here on LG. It's the best forum for it, really.

    Sorry about the clean-up effort, so glad you've found the humor in the "where to poop" conversations :)

  4. Uuuugh. I an pretty sure that this is going to happen to me any day now. Not sure my gag reflex can handle it though. You are my hero for pushing through it. No pun intended.

  5. Hahaha! Oh my god, you crack me up, lady! You and J both.
    "No, mama! Keep your face away!" Priceless! I love the way their 2-year-old brains put words together.
    and "Actually, we don't poop in anyone's bed."
    Ha! The voice of reason.
    ~Laura (A.S.)

  6. this has been my greatest fear/ event i've been waiting for with bated breath all this time! D. loooooves to climb up into mommy and daddy's bed and sit on mommy's pillow when he has a diap full of the poo. it's never ended in traumatic poop-pillow-ness, but it is still yicky nonetheless. weirdo.

  7. I was shopping in the Big City of Bismarck today. Went to Minot just a week ago for my son's wrestling tournament. Sorry to say, but this time of year ND is still the 'poop hole' your brother thought it was (sorry Betty but it's 5 degrees today with the windchill -25)And yes, this is where I start complaining about the weather :)
    Oh and eventually those boys try that at the city pool and it gets closed for the day. HA! And you'll act just like your dad and not have a clue who's kid did it.
    This has me laughing pretty hard. Thanks Jordan!

  8. cla517 - I have heard a lot of bathtub poop stories. Definitely a trauma!

    Jessica - Oh, god. You are so right. This is exactly how it's going to be if we don't change our ways. Yikes.

    HK - You make me laugh. I guess you're right, we have been low on the poop talk lately.

    Angel JAM - This might make you gag but Nick asked if I pushed it down the drain. I didn't - I scooped it out with a plastic cleaning container and dumped it in the toilet. So gross, but so much less gross...

    Laura - I love the 2-year old language. Love it! And I love that I'm the voice of reason. :)

    Coleen - Ohh, that would make me very very twitchy. Yikes.

    Lynn - ND is really tough in the winter. So brutally cold!

    And crap, I forgot about kids and poop and pools. I remember being so bitter as a child when you had to evacuate the pool for poop. We will definitely pretend we don't know him if he does it. :)

  9. I think "Keep your face away!" is very diplomatic of him.

  10. ahhh nah cant say I remember Ben ever pooping in the tub. Hope you checked the toy tub for sly poops that might be hiding in there.


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