Fake grace in the tropics: water ballet and other couples' sports

The most strenuous thing we did all day today was swim against the current in the lazy pool. Oh, and some water ballet. Oh, and we did put a little effort into ardent reapplication of sunscreen.

Heh.

I think the pool might be salt water. It's chlorinated but also tastes a little salty when you lick it off your lips. And it feels salty when it goes up your nose.

This one guy asked if we thought it was salt water, to which we said yes. And he said he thought that was new, because yesterday it didn't seem salty.

To which I responded, "Maybe it's because the tide came in?"

Blank stare. Either he didn't get it or just didn't think it was as funny as we did. Or maybe he just needed another cocktail.

One of the pools is big and sort of donut shaped and has a current. In the wide parts it's gentle, but in the narrow parts the current is actually quite strong. So you can sit on a floaty thing and have the current take you in a big loop. Except who wants to just be floated in a big loop? And so we discovered that swimming against the current is harder than it looks. Plus you have to keep swimming under couples who are lounging on their big floaty things.

There are a lot of couples at this resort. You know which ones are honeymooners, too. I mean, if you don't know by the schmoopy looks on their faces, you know by the labels on their doors. There are these huge, diagonal ribbons, much like beauty pageant ribbons, marking them as honeymooners.

It's kind of like putting a big sign on the door saying, "We! Are! Having! Sex! 24/7!" Don't you think? At any rate, if I were on my honeymoon here, that's what I'd be hoping for. Maybe I'd just write it on my forehead with a Sharpie.

Anyway.

So this afternoon it occurred to me that perhaps people think we're a couple. It was like this was a hugely out there idea when I asked Jen. Who gave me a "Duh." look.

"Yes, Lisa. People definitely think we're a couple. For example, remember the couple who were clearly a couple who chatted with us in the pool? The ones who very obviously thought we'd be a cool couple to hang out with?"

Oh, yes, them. Yes. I believe that to be true. But then again, they might just have been really impressed with our routine.

Because did I tell you about our water ballet routine? It turns out that after you've had three mojitos, which, yes, mom and dad, I do know you could drown, but the pool is only four feet deep, water ballet becomes really fun.

And you know what else is really fun? Coming back to your lounge chair from a swim and having a nice cold mojito just sitting there waiting for you. Hee hee. Fun!

Although in truth, it's all fun and games until you're synchronizing the "You do the front flip over while I slide on my back on the bottom, and then I'll do a back flip..." and you get water straight up your nose. And come up all snorting and sputtering for air.

I think we appealed most to the other couple during pre-flip practice. When we were discussing possibilities for our routine. Jen was offering suggestions on our ballet swim moves, and said, "And then you just go ahead and fake grace."

Fake grace? I'm all about the faking of grace. I do it all the damn time.

Until I get salt water up my nose.