Lemon daiquiris and other monsyllabic words

Jen and I started the day at full power. Yippee! Sunshine!

She went to the gym and I went for a run on the beach. And then ran into her on my way back to the room. I still wanted to lift weights so I asked her where the gym was.

The thing is, we've developed our own vocabulary for the location of things. Because "over by the Italian restaurant" means nothing. So she said, "Turn left at the jewelry shops and it's right behind the Garden of Penises."

Because there is a garden of cactus that looks just like penises with sprouts on top. The Garden of Penises.

That was how we started our day.

Currently Jen is showering. And I'm writing a post. Because she was all, "You need to get your lazy ass posting!"

Yikes.

We discovered lemon daiquiris halfway through the day yesterday. Or maybe it was more like 5 pm, and it felt more like halfway through the day because, when you start drinking mid-morning, everything feels like halfway through the day.

Because suddenly, it's like you're strolling through simple syrup; everything slo-o-ows down.

That's how my day has been, ever since my lovely workout and breakfast.

You're saying the same words to the same person, but they're slower. Nothing makes as much sense as it normally does. In Spanish or in English.

So Jen, who knows I'm plenty smart, gave me the following allowance. She went to Georgetown undergrad, and I went there for grad school. In linguistics. I'd just like to repeat. I studied linguistics. Before we continue.

This afternoon I was trying to guess her middle name.

Me: "What does it start with?

Jen: I'm not going to tell you. But, it's monosyllabic."

Me: "Right. But how many syllables does it have?"

Jen: "Lis. It's mono. Syllabic."

Me: "OK. Fine. Be elusive. So what does it start with?"

Jen: "F. And. It's. Mono. Syllabic."

Me: "OK! Fine! Filomena?"

This, my fine friends, is where we are. And we still have dinner and 80's night to contend with.

All very monsyllabic.

And now Jen is getting me another goddamn cocktail. And I can't even tell you how many syllables it has.