Tuesday, November 06, 2007

If justice were. . .

The Quad is going to be at 75% power for a while. 25% of us is stuck on a trial.

The thing about living in DC is that you get called for jury duty every two years. Sometimes you even receive the summons prior to the precise two year point from when you last served.


This led to a conversation about how Jenny's mom always gets put on trials. She attributes this to the fact that for a long time she worked with juvenile delinquents. She is now very involved with work that involves teenage gang members. And so when summoned, she is always selected for a jury.

Because, according to Jenny, she is all about justice.

Bob and I have to take everything and run with it. So one of us started with, "Yeah. Jenny's mom is all about justice. In fact, Jenny's mom is justice."

I can't remember which of us it was.

But then the other was all, "Yeah. And if justice were strawberries, we'd all be drinking smoothies."

Eventually it devolved into the truly inane.

"If justice were underwear, we'd never sleep naked."

"If justice were paper cuts, we'd all be bleeding profusely."

"If justice were ironic, we'd all be Alanis Morissette."

Back and forth.

I'm sure there could be lots of better ones, but you see where we were going.

It's actually kind of fun. If you're a big nerd.

Go ahead and roll your eyes. We have a good time. Because honestly? If justice were sea otters, we'd all be holding hands.


  1. If justice were underwear, we'd never sleep naked.

    What type of underwear would it be? male thongs in leopard print? Granny panties? Tighty-whiteys with a muddy stripe?

    curious minds want to know!

  2. If justice were a drink, we'd all have kool-aid mustaches.

  3. If justice where a cookie, we'd all be drinking milk.

    LG's Sunday post is still on my mind. You think?

  4. VVK - I dunno. What kind of underwear do you think represents justice best?

    DCup - Ha! Are you saying we should all be drinking the kool-aid?

    HKW - Oh yum! I'm stuck in an all-day training and milk and cookies would definitely help!

  5. i have no witty analogy, mostly because I'm surrounded by self-important people thinking they ARE justice. I just want a strawberry smoothie.

  6. I don't know... me being me, I think I'd love to see some sexy undies on a hot woman. And Justice... she would definitely wear a garter belt. She'd be going for the sexy-lacy-conservative look, so the undies wouldn't have any crazy patterns or colors, just a solid simple color. Probably pure white or back depending on her complexion.

    The problem with that is that people would get in trouble intentionally, just so they could hang out with her for a while.

    ... but hmmm... that's just my thinking.

  7. Oh my god Lisa, those otters nearly killed me. SO CUTE!

    If justice were a bull's eye, we'd all be playing darts.

  8. I don't have a witty analogy either, but I do have a pretty good DC jury duty story. In college my sister took my brother's girlfriend's birth certificate to the DMV and got a fake ID (a common practice pre-9/11). For years jury duty notices for my brother's girlfriend (a MD resident) came to my parents' house. My parents were very confused.

  9. Oh, moosie, I'm sorry to hear that! You really and truly are! Here's wishing you a strawberry smoothie and a pan of brownies.

    VVK - I was thinking of something much sturdier and more serious. But I think we should all have our own version.

    A.S. - I know, aren't they so effing adorable? Darts - I like it!

    Shannon - Oh, wow. I never thought of the far-reaching implications of the fake ID business.


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