Yesterday I learned that if you are having the kind of day that makes you cry into your peanut butter sandwich, you should just pack it in immediately. Go home. Crawl in bed.
Last night, late, after coming home from a completely unsatisfying textile class - a class that I thought would turn my mood around, and one in which I fucked up my silkscreen and disliked the color of everything I made, I poured a big glass of wine, plopped myself on the couch, and called Jane.
Earlier in the day Jane had been the lucky recipient of an over the top pit of despair email. She said she read my missive, laughing all the while. Not at my angst, but because she could picture the Lisa diving into hysteria process. And because the text of my email was so off the wall. Because she knows me so well.
She knew exactly the kind of hysterical little burrow that I'd gnawed myself into. The kind of smoothly hollowed dark place where reason and rationality have no surface to which to cling. The kind of place that you cannot even hope to claw yourself out of all by yourself. Because you are so far past the pale of reality.
You need an old old friend to say, "Hello! Hi! I know where this comes from and I know how to pull you back to solid ground. Sit down, have a glass of wine, and talk to me."
So there I am in my comfiest fleece, wine in hand, describing myself sobbing into my peanut butter sandwich. We giggled and giggled, because for god's sake, who doesn't put down the sandwich?
Honestly. If this isn't a sign that you should give up on your day, I don't know what is.
Jelly helps.
ReplyDeleteHope you are feeling less hysterical today.
Ah, thanks FK. I dunno about the jelly though. Would've been even more of a scene.
ReplyDeleteHow can you have peanut butter and bread without having jelly? Or at least honey... or better yet, honey and bananas. Or maybe some walnuts... something! :-P
ReplyDeleteHope you're having a better day.
Hugs...
-vvk
Wine, friends, and peanut butter? It doesn't get any better than that.
ReplyDeleteBesides, if nothing else, "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" loses quite a lot without the jelly.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if there is ever a class on using imagery and metaphor, "The kind of smoothly hollowed dark place where reason and rationality have no surface to which to cling.", should definitely needs to be included. Effing brilliant. I would rather it not be needed, but it's good. :)
And I should definitely needs to proofread my comments. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteHow e-barrassing.
I wrap myself in fleece when I'm sad too! I hope today is bright.
ReplyDeleteI skipped photography class last night due to exhaustion and totally regret it today. At least you followed through on a committment.
I enjoyed the post. But I have to say I can't read, say, or hear "pit of despair" without cracking up because of The Princess Bride
ReplyDeleteSo, I've sobbed onto peanut butter sandwiches, but into would seem to take some serious sobbing dedication.
ReplyDeleteAt least it wasn't Nutella. And I'm glad you had wineandafriend to help. :o)
VVK - My fave is Trader Joe's organic crunchy salted PB with Ezekial sesame bread. All much more savory than sweet. And I am, thanks.
ReplyDeleteHIN - It doesn't, it really doesn't. :)
WiB - Wow - thank you! And I was taking the "should definitely needs" kind of like the southern "might could." Charming!
Sean - Thanks. Yah, that's true. My pit of despair is usually darker with fewer rodents.
Dag - It might've been more sniveling into than sobbing, now that I think about it. And wineandafriend is always best. :)
HKW - Oops, missed you. Honestly, I think you did the right thing. It's hard to be creative when you're exhausted. I had a crap art night and totally screwed up a project, which feels worse than just skipping altogether.
ReplyDeleteGreat line: "The kind of smoothly hollowed dark place where reason and rationality have no surface to which to cling."
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
ReplyDelete