Thursday, July 17, 2008

"I think I love you more than you love me."

These are words that make you catch your breath. In a not-good way.

Especially if they're said with a big sigh. By someone you truly love. Who you hadn't seen in days.

So, here's the thing. And to start with, please bear in mind that Nick is a lot taller than me. Standing up, we are pretty much eye to, I don't know, nipple? Armpit? His, I mean.

Also, for those women reading this who are dating men in their twenties and early thirties, I have to tell you something I learned recently. And found shocking, if also mildly compelling. In an I need do something about this kind of way.

You see, for the longest time I dated men younger than me. Two, four, at one point seven years younger. So these men were, for the most part, early to mid-thirties at the oldest.

Here's what you will find, as you start dating older guys, or as you age along with your partner.

It is this: Men start getting hair in all these random places. Like their ears. Who knew they'd sprout hairs on their ears? Or that their eyebrows would get all wild and crazy?

Did you know this? I did not.

So there he was, my beloved, sitting at the kitchen table, holding his arms wide open. I walked over for a hug. And sat down on his lap, ruffled his soft brown hair, and kissed his cheek. All very kissy and lovey and happy.

I'd missed him, you know?

We were having a sweet little nuzzly moment, when he sighed, and said, "I think I love you more than you love me."

I pulled back.

"Why, sweetie? Why would you even say that?"

"Because here I am telling you how great you are and how much I love you, and you're all, 'Yeah sure sweetheart I do too and hold still I'll be right back I'm going to go get a tweezers.'"



  1. I KNOW I love you more than you love me.

  2. Noooo, my sweet! Absolutely not! Not true in his case and not true in yours! And, random note - you always have perfect eyebrows, among other things. :)

  3. Any man that doesn't think he is marrying up is marrying the wrong woman. I think the same principal applies to your situation.

  4. Gads, don't they understand that something like a stray hair forces our focus on it, rather than on the conversation at hand? It's like a scab, or a chip in nail polish, or wearing a shirt with a stain and obsessing about it all day. You have to take action! Sheesh...after that's done, you can always go back to professing your love.

  5. i know it's a total bummer but even though he didn't say it in a heavy way, i honestly believe that one person always loves the other more. it's not a bad thing, and i think it constantly changes in thh relationship. there are days when i feel like M loves me more and there are other days when i feel like i love the most. it just has to create a good balance... one person can't always be the More half.

  6. Men! I will never fully understand their anatomy.

  7. Restaurant Refugee - Now, THAT is really interesting.

    Susan - I think he's learning that. And mostly he's pretty patient about it. Mostly.

    notsojenny - I think your'e so right and that's absolutely true. It shifts back and forth, and one person can't always be the MORE half.

    HKW - Me either. Definitely not!

  8. Jason tortures me with his stray hairs. He's got eyebrow hairs that deserve their own ZIP code, and he won't let me pluck them.

    And I agree with Restaurant Refugee.

  9. It's been said that he who loves less wins. But that's probably only said by those in dysfunctional relationships.

    And...pssst. My eyebrows? Falsies.

  10. i would TOTALLY do that. in fact my sister was sitting right next to me and said "that sounds like you and your husband." hahaha!

    anyway, a friend once told me her grandmother gave her some advice once regarding marriage and it was "marry someone who loves you more than you love him."

    came to mind when i read this. weird that some people give that out for advice, know what i mean?

  11. I believe ear hair is a Y linked trait... so if his dad has them, he will, and so will your son(s). I started getting ear hair at at 26 or 27.

    Also, I agree with Restaurant Refugee.

    And no... I don't think guys will ever understand how women can find stray hairs so distracting... they're just hair?!?! WTF?

  12. The only reason my beloved is not TOTALLY GROSSED out everytime he sees my face is that I take care of those weird stray hairs (my chin? What the hell).
    So if I see an eyebrow hair that seems longer than my pinkie on him? I pluck it. I'm doing him a favor.

  13. Of course, what it very well could be, is that you're so secure in how much you love him that you assume he's secure about it, too.

    And that he will correctly interpret your concern over grooming as a reflection of your caring about him and noticing the details. It's not more or less. It's just different. :o)

  14. We are men. We have the power. And hair everywhere. Love us or leave us. :)

  15. I carry around a pair of tweezers in my purse specifically for MathMan's random sproutings.

  16. You both sound like sweet little love peas.

    Which will make me gag until I find love and am once again most willingly just like you. ;)


  17. Oh my god I ALWAYS do him. The running for tweezers bit I mean.

    Oh dear...

  18. When my wife and I were early on in our relationship, I think I impressed her when she noticed that I packed tweezers when I traveled. She didn't think most men did that. I confessed for the first time that I'd have a unibrow if I didn't keep it plucked. Ear hair is a more recent phenomenon, but it still gets plucked.

    I also have one of those electric trimmer thingies for the nostril hair.

    You're welcome.

  19. Wendy - Oooh that would make me a little crazy. I'd be chasing him around with the tweezers, pulling them out in his sleep...

    FreckledK - I think that's true - you have hand, so you're winnning. But not in a healthy relationship. As for the eyebrows - wow! had no idea!

    mrsmac - That's very interesting advice. There would definitely be safety in doing that.

    VVK - They're hair in the wrong place! As in, a place that's distracting me. And could be oh so easily pulled! No, I don't think guys get it at all.

    Mary - I am an avid plucker of random hairs - mine or his. Unless he doesn't let me, which of course drives me crazy.

    Dagny - He has a pretty good sense. And grooming is love, no?

    Kris - I understand the gagging and I wish you well finding your sweet little love pea as well.:)

    Bret - I don't see how anyone could restrain themselves, personally.

    Gilahi - Well done! Thank you!

  20. I am similar in that I am constantly wanting to pop people's pimples. People I'm dating I mean. Is that weird and gross or what?

  21. I don't know how I missed you guys...

    Michael - Or one could say love you or tweeze you. :)

    DCup - Excellent! As it should be!

    And Nicole - Oh, I have the exact same compulsion! Yes, it's gross, but somehow hugely satisfying.

  22. men are so strange sometimes! I mean, if I had a stray hair poking out of my face, i would want him to do something about it rather than tell me how fantabulous i was and then send me out into the world with that hair waving at everyone i passed!

    you guys are so sweet it makes my teeth hurt.

  23. well, luckily for me, my (older than me by a lot) boyfriend enjoys it when I "groom him." whew! i sure have him trained!

  24. I told this story over the weekend. You were a hit.


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