Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Perhaps not the best analogy ever

I don't know if you've ever not really thought something through, and charged forward with an analogy. . .and then wished you could un-analogize. In some kind of subtle way.

Without looking like an ass. Or in this case, a perv.

If not, then let me just tell you. Comparing blogging to masturbating? Not always the best choice.

Because say, for example, that the fifteen-zillionth person asked you why you write about yourself on the internet. If you are a blogger, you know how often this happens. And how people approach it from different viewpoints.

These people, clearly, they are critical about making the personal public. Ultimately, they want to know several things.

"Every day? Isn't it a big effort to blog every day?"

"No, it's great. I love writing. Mostly I do it because I love to write."

They look sceptical. "Why not just keep a diary if it's about the writing? Don't you feel weird having personal details on the internet?"

And so you could sincerely explain that it's cathartic, and that you've met great people, and gotten amazing support - all of which are true.

Or they could catch you on the wrong day, and you could be irritated. Internally you're rolling your eyes and thinking "Oh, ferfuckssake, I am not getting into this."

You might be feeling wicked, and decide to aim for shock value. It's not always judicious, but it's something you enjoy from time to time.

So maybe you pull out an analogy you've used once before.

"I suppose you could say it's a lot like masturbating."

This definitely catches them off guard. "What?"

"You know. It's fun and it feels good."

"Um. . ."

They look a little stricken. This delights you.

"It's not like other people don't have similar issues to mine. People are just more and less private, and I use a public forum to help deal with my stuff."

"Well, I don't think everyone. . ."

"Everyone does. It's more like whether you choose to do it by yourself in the dark. Or. . ."

At that point, you might stop abruptly.

Because maybe you suddenly realize that this makes you sound like your preferred location might be, oh, I don't know, Tysons Corner mall? On a busy Saturday?

You feebly offer, "I mean. Not that I. Really. I. . .It's more. I, well. . .I just like to write."

And then you flee. Because there is no graceful way to get back from there. That you can think of.

15 comments:

  1. Ha! I'd love to see the look on the face of the recipient of this analogy.

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  2. I'm horrible at analogies. Don't even try anymore. Seriously, I'm the worst.

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  3. HA love it! Open mouth insert foot... one of my favorite past times.

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  4. The only difference between the two is that I sometimes fail to write every day. But - other than that - it's almost exactly the same thing.

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  5. Maiden Metallurgist - They definitely thought I was a freak.

    HKW - I'm thinking I should give up as well. Sigh.

    LivitLuvit - Yes. Good thing I have small feet, because they are in there regularly.

    FreckledK - Hahahahaha! I love you!

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  6. Now if only I could um "blog" at the office, it might make the drive more worth it.

    And what about Rich? He "blogs" on the train!

    Oh, I think you may have struck analogy gold.

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  7. oh yeah..."blogging" is totalllly my new code word...
    xoxo

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  8. DCup - Heh - I love the idea of Rich "blogging" on the train. Excellent!

    Suicide Blonde - Haha!

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  9. I say, let 'em wonder. If you've got the moves down and Tysons Corner Mall does it for you...well then, go girl. The world would be a far happier, more content place if up-tight people who react to the "M" word would just give in and go to the 'mall'. ;-)

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  10. I say, let 'em wonder. If you've got the moves down and Tysons Corner Mall does it for you...well then, go girl. The world would be a far happier, more content place if up-tight people who react to the "M" word would just give in and go to the 'mall'. ;-)

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  11. I am blogging in a coffee shop right now. I wonder if the cute blonde in front of me can tell?

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  12. I am blogging in a coffee shop right now. I wonder if the cute blonde in front of me can tell?

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  13. Ryane - Hahahaha! Definitely more people should go to the mall.

    Restaurant Refugee - She might suspect something is going on.

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  14. I "blog" with my dog watching. On the bed, at the office, on the sofa. Is that weird?

    Also, I heart Freckled K for her comment.

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  15. I found your blog via Slightly Disorganized Mind, and have been slowly making my way through your older entries. This is, by far, my favorite entry. I knew I enjoyed your blog before, but now I'm officially hooked.

    :-)

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