Thursday, August 28, 2008

To be filed under things I do not understand

I just don't understand peep-toe boots.

Tej IMed me to ask me where I stand on the peep-toe ankle bootie. And I had to admit I hadn't given it any thought.

So I Googled. To form a concrete opinion.

Nine West is a brand I like. And yet, they say on their website, about this peep-toe bootie to the left, "This ankle bootie is ready to be the life of your closet!"

Um, no.

It could be that I am entirely wrong about this. But I think they're just plain ugly. And unflattering. And dumb.

Boots? They are for winter. For warmth.

Poking a hole in the toe? Opening up the back? This makes them the opposite of warm.

It's more of a shoe bootie. A shootie?

So I recognize full well that one could call me the opposite of trendy. Which would be, well, I don't know what.

The truth is, I haven't been trendy since Reagan, or maybe Bush senior. The last time I can remember really trying was high school. When, at various points, I had: a Cyndi Lauper criss-cross shaved into the side of my head; pegged jeans; a short on one side, long on the other bob; a neon green "Relax" t-shirt; bright blue mascara; neon orange nailpolish; and jelly flats.

I think you could genuinely have called me trendy back then.

And even then, I didn't have a pair of ankle booties. I wanted some, though. But we lived in India, and there weren't any to be had. I did covet this bright blue pair belonging to one of my French classmates.

So my taste was questionable. But trendy!

But I digress.

What's with this peep-toe bootie business? I'd like to know. Is it that designers get bored of making pretty things? Or they want to see how far they can push people?

They aren't attractive on their own, and they flatter pretty much nobody. I think it's one of those things that women will buy because it's trendy, and men will hate because they aren't hot, and after a few wearings those booties will be shoved to the back of the closet, sad, lonely, and partying all by themselves.

Or maybe men do think they're hot? I don't presume to understand what fires men up, and sometimes it's things I truly don't understand. Maybe men love the peep-toe ankle bootie? And not in a cross-dressing kind of way?

I'd say no, all around no, but I've been wrong about these things before.


  1. I think that trends like this are where some numb nut in purchasing accidentally ordered too many of an ugly shoes because he misplaced a decimal. Which is why these trends are then foisted upon us. Personally, I think that the douchebag should just lose his job, and the shoe companies should chalk it up to what it really was, an accounting oversight, and NOT the next big thing.

  2. I love you! I love your strong opinions and how you never wishy-wash around about anything!

  3. They're ugly... not that I have any fashion sense.

  4. i'm not trendy either and i agree that they're stupid and not pretty. i'd put them right up there with Uggs. while uggs themselves aren't pretty they're not outright atrocious, until you see them with a skirt... and no tights... in the summer. WTF?! anything with shearling should not be worn between April & August.

  5. These shoes are distressing. But I think they're someone's escape from reality. If you take away every practical aspect of a thing, doesn't that sort of make it the ultimate luxury?

    I'm guessing that's the logic here. But even luxurious ugly is still ugly. >:o(

  6. Jelly flats are coming back!!! You can be trendy again without even working at it!

    And those boots? Ugggggglllly!

  7. I agree that they, in fact, ugly and do not serve purpose to any normal woman... but to a woman with ugly feet and fat ankles they are perfect! They give you the option to wear shoes that can breathe in the warmer months with out subjecting the rest of us to the hideousness of their feet. I n a weird way it's actually quite genius!

  8. 'Ready to be the life of your closet' - my guess is they're just place holder, white elephant, conversation booties until you buy some real boots ?

    And yes even when I close my eyes and try to imagine them in other colors all I can see is ugly.

  9. VVK - I have no idea if you do or don't with regard to women's fashion, but imagine that in fact, you do.

    notsojenny - But at least Uggs are really warm! In the winter they make sense to me! Not in summer, though, and I'm constantly shocked by women who wear them on really warm days.

    Jessica - Um, you are right, that does make them a luxury. And luxurious ugly is still ugly.

    Sarah - No, no, and more no! There are so many things I did in high school that I would never do again.

    Samantha - That is definitely an angle I had never considered.

    Rio - This seems totally reasonable to me. I love boots, but not these!

  10. I wanted to be sure before I commented, so I just checked the List of Things That Suck and sure enough those hideous creations were right there at number 675, just above the Kenny G Christmas Album, just below Potted Meat.

  11. YSL makes a pair that aren't nearly so hideous...

    Just sayin.

    Cuz those are fugged.

  12. I've got enough bad idea shoes already. I would have to take a pass. And I live in Georgia where we don't really have nasty winters.

  13. It's not just that they're ugly- and God are they ugly- but they look drastically uncomfortable. If I'm going to be squished and bleeding, I better look fucking sexy.

  14. While I can completely agree that those particular shooties are ugly, I can't claim to be totally against this kind of shoe. And although these are more of a cut-out sandal (and yes, they are from that movie), they are still extremely hot shoes.

    (sorry for the stupid long tag...I am clearly not the brightest HTML bulb in the box).

  15. So when I first opened the page, I thought, "I hope those aren't hers." I'm glad to see they aren't. They're pretty ugly and while some shoes defy practicality and comfort, at least they're pretty. They can get away with it. These on the other hand are just ugly, so it doesn't matter that they're not practical. Ugliness trumps all. Er, or something like that.

  16. Restaurant Refugee - I am glad to hear affirmation from a man with strong opinions about clothing (both men's and women's)!

    DCup - I love hearing you have a lot of bad shoe ideas. This makes me giggle and wonder.

    Nicole - Absolutely agree. This is a great rule to live by - if horribly uncomfortable, must be really fucking sexy!

    Ryane - THOSE shoes are HOT! I got the link in my email fine but wonder if it's just too long for comments. But those are gorgeous and sexy - but how can you not be with almost 5" stiletto sandals, no matter what else they have going on? Love!

    raven-smiles - Yes, ugliness trumps all or something like that. This makes me think, though, that I must have things I like that I'm sure other people think are ugly...I think I'll hunt through my closet to see! If so, must post!

  17. I covet those shoes...I want them. I might even go so far as to say I need them, but alas...I'm not so sure my bank account =-)

  18. yeah, the "life of your closet" because that is where they are always going to be. "fashion" + marketing = a deadly mix.

  19. I completely agree with you. They should be categorized with Uggs and Crocs. However, while both Uggs and Crocs might be comfortable to some, these do not look so. Ugly AND not comfortable. What's a shoe to do?

    I bought the cutest shoes yesterday, but couldn't find a pic to send. And I was undecided on these (see below) in brown because, while I think they are pretty funky, they are completely and totally impractical & might just be of the moment:

    Shoes were in the air on Thursday.

  20. Ryane - I covet them, too. Alas, so spendy, too hard on bank account. Sigh sigh.

    LJ - Totally and completely agree.

    Boo Boo's Mom - I have tried Crocs and they feel terrible on me. So many people love them, but I just can't wear them.

    And I can totally see you in those! I think they're quite fabulous! Would entirely depend on how they feel, I think.

  21. I think those shoes are hideous. To be honest. :)

  22. I think those shoes are hideous. To be honest. :)

  23. I have a pair of, I don't know what to call them, a cross between a platform gladiator sandal and a (sort of) bootie. I bought them in Vegas during my stripping years and they are HOT! Truly smokin' in a dominatrix kind of way. I wanted the full-calf pair, but unfortunately, they wouldn't zip over my leg, which is embarassing to admit, even though I'm not fat.

  24. Stephanie - Well, you're in a whole lot of company here!

    J - I tried on so many gladiator sandals this summer and really really wanted to be able to rock them, but they just don't suit me, and my short legs, alas. I could see a platform one looking hot! And I'm not fat either, but I almost never find boots that zip over my calves - they seem to make them for Twiggy-calved women.

  25. Yikes...not cute. Or even particularly all.

    Those amazing secret hidden platform 5 inches Christian Loboutin round toe black pumps scene on all the runways on the other hand...AMAZING.

  26. Oh how you miss the point! Many men find women's feet sexy. This gives just a peek at the toes and the heal. Leaves a lot to the imagination!


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