Friday, August 08, 2008

How's that working out for ya?

Oh, wow. I was looking back through saved draft blog posts, and found the rant below. While I will delete you from my cell phone faster than you can blink, my drafts stick around forever.

My world has changed immensely since writing this, but I feel like there's value in posting it, as an acknowledgement of where I was.

People say I'm lucky - lucky to have met the one, and lucky not to be dating anymore. Both true. I tell people that I worked really hard - on myself and in the dating world - to get to a place where I could be ready to meet the person and sustain a healthy relationship.

I really tackled my personal crap. And I went out with so many people I can't even remember them all to count. The approach I took was, if the person was out there, and dating in the greater DC metropolitan area, I was going to meet him. And he was.

But I digress. This was written September 25, 2007.

Just so you know, this is coming from a place of extreme crankyness today.

Like, I'd never kick a puppy, but I might make a really mean, scary face at a kid if he were screaming near me. I'm certain I would. Apparently I gave one of my not-so-favorite colleagues an eyes narrowed, mouth set in a line, look of death in a meeting earlier. Poker face? Not so much ever ever ever.

Sometimes, when I am having conversations with men on dates, the topic of type will come up. Do I have a type?

Me? Heh.

And so I tend to very candidly say that yes, I have historically had a type. And that I have dated a lot of men who, as I've said many times on LG, are very bright, very successful, anger-driven workaholics. Sometimes I leave out the anger-driven part.

What surprises me is the number of men who will look at you and ask some version of, "How's that working out for you?"

The first time someone asked me, I thought it was a joke. It's a funny thing to say, right? I mean, I'm clearly single, because, um, I'm out on a date. With you.

I laughed the first time. But he meant it sincerely. As have others.

How is that working out for me? Seriously?

This causes me to pause, furrow my brow, tilt my head, and silently go, "Huh."

And so I figure I have one of two options. I can, very sincerely, explain why overall this hasn't been a great thing for my psyche. I can open up a conversation about what may have led to all these choices, why ultimately they didn't work out, blah blah blah.

Or, I can, as I have taken to doing, say, "Oh, my God! It's worked out so well for me! I've been happily married for two years at this point!"

And if that causes the person in front of me to roll their eyes, I feel like that response somewhat makes up for the stupidity of the question.



  1. hmm.

    I have a type too.

    emotionally unavailable assholes who think too much of themselves and don't like my family...

    how that working out for ME?

    not so well, apparently.

  2. I leave you with this quote from When Harry Met Sally:

    "Marie: Tell me I'll never have to be out there again.

    Jess: You'll never have to be out there again."

    Kinda makes you want to give yourself and Nick presents for rescuing each other, don't it? :o)

  3. I love that part. when they are both on their seperate phone lines.

    Awesome. :)

    Nice work Dag.

  4. Slightly Disorganized - We ALL get beyond the bad parts of our types and meet the one who has just enough of our type to grab our attention, but has all these really AMAZING qualities, like being kind, loving, and generous and good to our families and treating us like gold. And Dagny just rocks, always, don't you think?

    Dagny - We do talk about being glad not to be out there. You are right! We should give each other presents for this! And I love that entire movie. Love love love.

  5. My grandparent's names are Harry and Sally. It's a completely stupid reason to love that movie, so I'm glad it's also a really good one.


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