Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Or maybe it can be attributed to my relentlessly sunny disposition

Looking at this photo, I don't remember what Nick had just done to irritate me, but clearly something.

Maybe just taking the picture. We'd been sitting in the Izmir airport, waiting to fly back to Istanbul, for about five hours. And I didn't like my book. Stuck, with no reading material.

But that's not the point. The point is this.

We had dinner with friends the other night, and in the course of conversation, I learned that my friend Sam, who used to read my blog, no longer does. He said he read it daily. Until I got engaged. At which point I got boring.

It is no longer, he is certain, of interest to men.

He's not single, and even when he was, we were never interested in each other. We have always been just friends. But he really liked the angst-ridden single woman stories. No matter that he heard them in person regularly. But after that, he just stopped being entertained.

His contention is that my male readership has surely taken a nosedive. Single? Fascinating. Engaged? Married? Not quite as much.

Of course I want people to like me. I eat up any kind of praise with rapid, greedy bites. So my immediate thought was, what can I change?

I talked about this with two charming men the other night who both said they were in total disagreement with him. But Sam's words stuck.

This has really been gnawing at me. Did I get boring? To men anyway? Very few men comment, but that has always been the case. But maybe even fewer now. I hadn't been paying attention until he said that.

And then I thougth about it. Most men are probably not so interested in reading about ovulation and my MIL and the myriad weird places I'd put my penis if I had one. So is this what happened?

Obviously, it's pointless to say, "If you were a guy who used to read LG, but now you don't, why not?"

And the truth is, all you can do is live forward. I can't write fiction, and blogging about my here and now is what I find most satisfying.

But what I am wondering is this. Are single women more interesting in general? And if so, is it because they're single, and so there's the possibility of dating? Are single, angsty stories just more compelling?

Or did I shift?

31 comments:

  1. I was definitely more interesting when I had hilarious stories of bad dates and wild nights out. Nobody want to read about Josh and I sitting around the house and doing a jigsaw puzzle. But, like you, I find writing about the here and now saatisfying. So I'm going to keep on writing, even if fewer people stick around to read.

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  2. (1) That look would be appropriate if, say, Nick had tried to steal your adult beverage.

    (2) I think that because nearly everyone has been single/dating at some point, those stories are easily relatable. Each person's personal fairytale, though... that's unique. Not everyone can share in that. And I think a lot of men are less prone to, or comfortable with, the sharing of any aspect of their personal fairytales, so it's going to be more difficult for them to read about yours.

    In other words, as cliche as it might seem, guys generally don't talk about this stuff, and aren't sure what to do with it when you do.

    /files under "completely baseless theories"

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  3. Having only been reading LG since you were affianced/married, I can't make any comparisons so while I can't say whether the current material is more or less entertaining, but as a male I certainly do find the current content very interesting and look forward to it every day. You see, for me, it's not what you write about, but how you write, which is always very entertaining. Sophie and I were just saying this very morning that you could write about anything and it would still be fun to read. Stories about the MIL are fascinating. Stories about those sticks open a window to the feminine world that few men know much about. Take this and your friend's comments for what they are - one person's opinion.

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  4. I definitely think life is crazier when you're single, which can lead to more entertaining stories. You're out much more, interacting more, putting yourself out there more, etc. BUT I think that's a big generalization, and you can definitely stay interesting if you're as... "lovably quirky" as you are. I don't think you have anything to worry about, lady.

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  5. i was recently at a dinner party and all the couples were fascinated with my two single girl friends. they had story after story of bad dates. one guy showed up high and disheveled to the date, offered her drugs and when she refused, asked if he wanted to go to the hotel room he had gotten them for the night. another guy had lied about living with his parents and then tried having sex with her in his parents "guest house" which was really just a glorified garage with a bare mattress. you can't tell these stories when you're in a relationship because that sort of thing doesn't happen to you anymore, and the funny stuff that does happen, you often just want to keep it to yourself because it becomes a funny intimate moment...or at least that's how i see it.
    either way, i still LOVE your blog and read it daily as soon as i get to my office. whatever you're doing, please don't stop.

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  6. Hmmm, he's only ONE guy. And, frankly, while your subject matter might have changed, your writing style hasn't. You're still funny and angsty, just about different things.

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  7. I have to agree. I love to read your blog, regardless of your relationship status or the subject matter. Dating stories were funny, but I can relate to the everyday topics just as easily. There've been several times that I read something of yours and then texted hubby, to have him read it also. He was very appreciative of the ovulation stick story!

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  8. My blog is filled with my dating stories, and I think only one or two people read my posts each time, if that many. I only get a comment here and there... So that's probably not it -- you're still very interesting -- I'm single and VERY boring, it seems :(

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  9. I'd like to echo Sean: it's how you write. Whether the story is about peeing on sticks, sticking it somewhere it doesn't belong or gold jackets, the way you tell a story keeps us coming back.

    Also, as I said, you and Nick's love story gives those of us still searching for one the most important thing of all: Hope.

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  10. Maiden Metallurgist - You are right - nobody wants to hear about snuggling at home by the fire. But yah, you have to just write who you are at the time.

    Jessica - 1. I have no idea what he did, but I know we each had our own beer.
    2. You make a good point. Maybe that is it.
    3. I like your "completely baseless theories"

    Sean - I really do appreciate that. I'm glad to hear that you and Soph like reading my stories so much. I take this as one opinion I really like. :)

    LiLu - I know. My life has definitely gotten a lot less crazy - thank goodness. Thank you, sweetie!

    J - It's true, he's one guy, but a close friend. I hope I am funny, and I am sure I'll always be angsty.

    Susan - Thank you - that makes me feel good! I am really glad to hear that!

    Beach Bum - Hmm, I don't know. I don't think you're boring.

    FoggyDew - Thank you thank you! I definitely want to propagate hope - that is great to hear.

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  11. OK, stick with me here, I hope this makes sense.

    I really love reading Amalah. I don't miss an entry, actually. That is kinda weird as she is married with two kids and it has a "mommy blog".

    I was telling this to my aunt one day, saying how it doesn't make sense.

    She replied "Of course it does! She is still funny and smart and swears and has a sense of humor. It gives you hope you will be the same way."

    And that is how I feel about you, dear Lisa. I may get married one day, but I can still be funny and write and talk about sex and do lots of really awesome things...because you are.

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  12. Well, I didn't start reading your blog until you were married, but it's been pretty interesting. Or I wouldn't be reading.

    And how could you be so irritated with a large glass of delicious beer in front of you?

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  13. Lemmonex - You are really and truly fantastic. Thank you so much for this - it really touches me.

    saratogajean - I don't know. Maybe not enough beer yet? It was at the tail end (no pun) of my diarrhea adventure, so maybe that figures in?

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  14. Also, Anonymous from way above - Sorry I missed you! Your single friends' stories are definitely very compelling. I would be riveted. And I am so glad you love it and that you read LG daily! Thank you!

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  15. i love your blog no matter what, but as I have no penis to stick in a hand dryer or shutter slat, i suppose my opinion is moot.

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  16. Please don't change anything! I love your blog just the way it is! You are a great, funny writer, married or not. I think your friend Sam's comment said more about him than it did about your blog content.

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  17. Where is this Sam person? I'd like to have a word with him.

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  18. Is this a case of Moonlighting? Remember that show? Once Maddie and David got together nobody cared. No sexual tension.

    Me, I like your blog. But if you're worried about the Moonlighting syndrome thingy, throw in more totally goofy hijinks. You know, where appropriate.

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  19. Sean in NOLA12/09/2008 4:32 PM

    Hi Lisa. I am still reading but have less time to comment. Your writing is still great. Enjoy your posts.

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  20. I just want to echo the comments above. I read your blog because it charmingly written with wit, a laugh inducing level of self-deprecation, and paints the most vivid of pictures. Further, you have a style the rings like church bells with honesty.

    This Sam joker, I suspect, read in the same way that Harry was friends with Sally.

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  21. Having been a frequent reader of the male persuasion for a long time, since before engagements and marriages and such, I must firmly put my foot down in opposition to your friend's theory. I've loved your writing style, and have even taken it as inspiration for my own writings at times. But through and through, I've loved your perspective. That's what you offer to the world through a blog like this, Miss Lisa. We get to see your world, but, uniquely so, because through your words we see it as you do. And that, regardless of what is happening in that world, will always be interesting!

    Keep writing, and we'll keep reading!

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  22. Put me in the category with the other commenters who've said it's not the what you write, but the how you write it. That hasn't changed one bit and that's why I enjoy reading you.

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  23. I second-third-fourth what most people have said. It's your writing style that keeps me coming back. I don't know at what point I started reading - sometime during your engagement - but I loved it so much I went through archives and sent posts to my boyfriend. He loved them too. The posts naturally prompted discussions like, "What would you do if I put vaseline on my feet and got into bed?". I think it's necessary to have those types of conversations, so thanks for prompting them.

    :-)

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  24. I like that photo!

    I think you have a very good mix of topics. Plus, you often talk about your past dating history. So even though you're not dating NOW, it's still relevant! :)

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  25. Slightly Disorganized - I adore you and your opinion always counts, penis or no.

    Kate - Thank you, really, thank you so much!

    FreckledK - He's really good people. He just doesn't hold back his thoughts.

    lacochran - Alas, my goofy hijinks are few and far between anymore. But you make a good point - no sexual tension. Ah, well.

    Sean in NOLA - Awesome to hear. Thanks for reading!

    RestaurantRefugee - Haha! I actually really love "this Sam joker" - and knowing (and adoring) his wife and having met a couple of his previous girlfriends, I know for a fact I am not at all his type. He's just very, very candid with his friends. And clearly my blog is no longer his cup of chai. I really appreciate you reading and your lovely support.

    Simple Scholar - Thank you so much for sticking with me from the single to engaged to married! I will keep writing - you know I will!

    DCup - You rock, you really do.

    ravensmiles - I'm really glad to hear that. I'm so happy to be a conversation prompter!

    Zandria - Thanks! On all your points!

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  26. Single life, in definition, is more interesting as much as it is frustrating. Venting that frustration in the blogiverse also makes for interesting reading since it has been shown over and over that bloggers often drop their inhibitions upon signing it (I hear some even drop their pants!).

    But I think that married and engaged life opens up a whole different dimension of crazy, which can be just as enjoyable to readers. And think of it this way: The more you open up about your post-nuptial crazy, the more your female readership will be able to relate, and therefore grow, thus evening out the loss of your male readership.

    Men are, after all, in chase of a woman's mystique, and after a woman is held captive in married bliss they have little to learn from her exploits.

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  27. Even if you wrote about calculus and algebra equations, I would still read you... and I DESPISE calculus... I failed it twice!

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  28. I've only been reading your blog for a month or so but I think you're hilarious!!! Believe me, for me (as a single person), nothing is a bigger turnoff than people who go on about their man or whatever all of the time. You don't do this. We KNOW you have a significant other but you don't rub it in people's faces. AND you're funny.

    I now don't want to read your older stuff in case it is so brilliant I explode with jealousy . . .

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  29. I have re-read certain books over and over...and then at other times gone to pick up the same book and not felt the same thrill. I think as much as a writer might change their style, content, tone...etc, a reader also changes the way they read what they read, which may have something to do w/your friend's comments.

    I came to your blog after the ring, but before the ceremony, and I still think you are as clever and hilarious, as ever. I am single and frankly, sometimes I don't want to read one more post (mine included) about 'dating' b/c it can get depressing. It's refreshing to read words on the other side of the page so please don't change. Besides, who else will I ask about peeing on a stick if I should ever come to that point?!? ;-)

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  30. I'm not a man and haven't stopped reading or commenting, and I haven't read any of the other comments (which I'm sure are all very supportive and reiterate how AWESOME you are).

    But: I think, in general, men are more drawn to single woman because they think they have a chance. Even if they don't. Even if it's via the internet and the whole idea of ever even potentially running into the person is preposterous. There's still a chance. Or at least something in common, you know?

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  31. Late to the party, I'll say that I still think the blog is great - maybe even better now than during the engaged period. Sam's on crack.

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