Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Breaking up is hard to do

Last night I dreamt that I had a fabulous haircut.

The layering was perfect. I could feel the fabulous, elegant bob swishing as I turned my head. I felt beautiful.

I awoke with the realization that I have to break up with my stylist.

I've been going to the same guy for the last three or four years, and the same salon for six. There have been ups and downs, and I've considered breaking up before, but I like him, and it's in an easy location. Plus, it's a totally affordable place.

A couple years ago, I loved my hair (see below, featured with my nephew, who I no longer get to see).
It's tragic, really.

So the other day I accosted a woman in the elevator the other day for a salon recommendation. She had a fabulous haircut. And she turned out to have a posh British accent, which of course made her hair look even better.

What I didn't ask, though, as it seems a rather personal thing to ask a stranger, plus I didn't have enough time between floors, is whether or not she colors it. I need someone who does highlights nicely.

It's stressful, trying someone new out of the blue. Not to get all Rod Stewart on you, but we all know that the first cut is the deepest. (Sorry. I couldn't resist.)

On the one hand, it's just hair. On the other, it frames your face, and either brightens you up or pulls you down. I look pulled down. And being as pale as I am, winter does that enough in the first place. I feel positively beige.

Here's what I want: I want a not-snobby, not too grown-up salon, where I don't feel self-conscious arriving in my bubble-gum pink coat. I want someone who cuts well and does great color. I want lovely blonde highlights. I want them to be glowy. I want to feel pretty.

In other words, I want it to be like it was early on in our relationship.

And here's the thing. I know there are other good stylists at his salon. I like the one who did my hair for the wedding. But you can't break up with one and move on to another at the same place. I mean, I did that once there, but only because the woman I was going to gave me bangs I didn't ask for, and then denied that they were bangs.

If you have short hair in the front of your head, just cut by your stylist, they are bangs.

So in a fuck-you move, I chose another stylist at the same salon. But I felt totally justified in doing so.

In this case, I like him. I just feel like we're in a rut. It's the same old same old. The color I have now, it's just blah. The cut? Has no style. And he's good; I think he's just stopped bothering a whole lot.

You know, as I write, it occurs to me...Maybe he's over me? Maybe he's trying to make me break up with him?


  1. I'm still pretty new to DC.. have you tried Urban Style Lab in Dupont Circle? They did my hair last week and they did a great job and were super nice. I was worried about not being cool enough because the place was uber-hipster on the website, but they were great!

  2. I'm in a similar situation. I want to break up with my stylist. Not because he sucks (he does amazing colour) but because he's a total assdouche. If he could just stay silent while I was around him, I could stay with him.

  3. my best friend and I have been going to our stylist for years, with no complaints, but the last time we were there, she groaned when she realized who her next client was. She purposely ran our appointment overtime in the hopes of pissing off the nest woman, who was in fact, quite rude and atrocious. I could see why she wanted this woman to "break up" with her.

    You of course, are lovely, so I don't think that he's trying to break up with you? Maybe you're like an old married couple, and like in the sack, he thinks that a + b = c, always. Which of course it does not.

    Go on then. Have an affair. See someone new. You can always go groveling back if it doesn't work out, and say that you had a free haircut coupon to a different salon or something.

  4. Teeny - No, I hadn't even heard of it! Good to know. Dupont is totally convenient.

    Hillary - That is a difficult one. It's so hard to find someone who does amazing color, but it's also hard to be around assdouches. Heh.

    Slightly Disorganized - The woman I saw right before this guy, I loved, even though she was kind of a bitch. She left to go to Miami and be a high-heels-by-the-pool girl, otherwise I'd still go to her. But anyway, she used to deliberately fuck up people's hair when she didn't want them as clients. I was a little afraid of her. But I could try someone else and then go back, I suppose. I've been hung up on not liking the new person and feeling like a jerk so not going back.

  5. it sounds to me like this salon just doesn't hire very good stylists... i agree it's time to move on.
    you just gotta' keep fishing around until you find someone else who is good. it's kinda fun (unless you find some tragic stylists before you find a great one : )

  6. And people wonder why I go to Richmond to see my stylist (at least my family lives there, so I can do both at once)! If he were to ever leave the area, I'd be distraught over having to find someone new to do my hair. I wouldn't know where to start!

  7. Perhaps you might try a conversation to try and liven things before going outside your relationship looking for a spark?

  8. I've never cared much for my hair (the result of a tragic haircut in 3rd grade), but lately have been thinking that I want something new! and bouncy!

    Appointment time, definitely.

  9. I'm with refugee. I would say something. I love my stylist, and she's awesome about listening to what I want...especially if I want a change...unfortunately she's in MD...and not convenient for you.

  10. notsojenny - I think they actually hire good stylists - I'm just in a rut with mine.

    RestaurantRefugee - That's a totally reasonable suggestion, one that I would suggest to anyone in a relationship...It's probably only fair, too.

    Nicole - You have beautiful, lush, gorgeous hair! I'd trade you in a second!

    Megan - I think you are right. Nothing to lose except one more try. And while I would absolutely take a recommendation for you, I don't really go to MD.:)

  11. I'm ready to change my stylist and get a new hairdo too - I so know how you feel

  12. The haircut in your picture looks a lot like the one your guy gave me for your wedding. I ended up loving it. I have to admit the next haircut i got was more skillfully done, but not quite as charming and I haven't gotten as many compliments (I got quite a few random ones with the wedding cut). Maybe he's as bored with your hair as you are and just needs license for a proper change. Maybe give him one more chance and tell him you need a change with some spark to it. If he succeeds, good. If he doesn't, you can wade confidently into the unknown.

  13. I'm such a serial cheater. I'm reduced to cutting my own hair and just let the gray grow in because I could never commit to a color or a stylist.

  14. The issue is that you need someone who looks at you "anew." Not someone who's seen you before, who knows your "look." You want the "aha!" instant makeover.

    That said, if you are looking for an amazing haircut, get thee to Keiko at Ozuki in Georgetown. completely reasonable, cutting edge, have not cried over a haircut since I started going to her. Which says a lot.

  15. try Zhen at VSL in Dupont sometime - she does layers better than any stylist i've ever been to and i get compliments on my hair all the time.

  16. Carrie M. and I actually go to the same stylist and she's perfect. I was surprised to find that when I asked her if it was time to cut my hair... she said, "No." I mean - that's how she makes her money, so it goes to show how amazing she is that she's willing to forgo an appointment because my hair just doesn't need it.

  17. I love my stylist, but as I'm in Ohio, I think that's a bit far for you. My stylist is a board certified haircolorist. There aren't many people with that certification, so it makes me feel like he knows what he's doing. You can look for locally certified colorists here: http://www.haircolorist.com/main/index.php

  18. I am a bit overdue for a cut, so don't judge me from the last time you saw me, but Vera at Blondie's is AMAZING. I am ruthless with my hair and she has never ever let me down and every single person I have recommended her too has thanked my profusely.


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