I know this is precisely what I've been asked not to do, and I also know that at some point I will exhaust your patience. But.
My dad should be in surgery right now to have a Pacemaker put in. Four heart doctors discussed this with him this morning and he agreed. And then they called us.
This would be a great solution, and as long as everything works out, it will be a relief.
But me, I feel like such an asshole. I was so angry with him yesterday. And what if that turns out to be the last time I ever talk to him?
I know these are routine, and people get them all the time, and INOVA has good heart doctors, and odds are that in a couple hours we'll be told it went well. And this afternoon, we'll go over for a visit.
But still, I feel so guilty. Most of the time, except when I really really can't help it, I try to put good things out into the world. I don't leave things on angry notes. I talk to my loved ones the very last minute before they or I fly. I have to tell them I love them one last time.
I realize the flying is a whole nother issue.
But it all ties together. Especially if it's the last time, I want it to be loving, I want it to be kind.