Friday, April 17, 2009

I didn't think I could live through this again. And here I am.

If I could ask something of you, I would ask you to pray, or think good thoughts, or send positive energy out into the world. When they find my dad, and please God, let it be soon, please let him be alive.

Because all I can think is, this time he's really done it. This time, he must be dead.

The last time I talked to him was 3 pm. He said he was going to the cardiologist - who I've since spoken with, who didn't see him today, who can't tell me if he did or didn't have an appointment. Who I think is a tool.

My mom and their houseguests got home at 9. The police have been looking for him since we called them about 9:30 this evening.

When I called 911, one of the officers remembered my dad from last time, and called the officer who had saved him. They immediately sent police to last time's motel. To no avail, but I appreciated that they remembered and took immediate action.

For all my dealings with the police in NoVA - and at this point, there have been way more than one might expect in the course of a life - I can only say good, good things. They've been immediately responsive and unfailingly kind.

And now it's past midnight. And there are no more doctors to call, no more possibilities to look into, no more details to give police.

All I can do is say please, please, God. Please don't let this be it. I need my dad. I need him to know my kid. Just let me have my dad for a little more time.

66 comments:

  1. Checking my google reader on my phone before going to bed and saw your post. You and yours will be added to my list of prayers for the night. I so hope that your dad is found safe. I cannot imagine the panic you feel.

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  2. Lisa - I've read for a long time, but I lurk and don't comment (sorry). Anyway I will be praying for him and your entire family. We are all hoping the best for you all.

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  3. I'm another person praying heartfelt prayers for you and your family tonight!

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  4. Oh Lisa, I am so so sorry. The other 364 days of the year I don't, but tonight, I will pray very, very hard for you. Much love, support, and strength... for you and Betty.

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  5. Lis -

    We all love you and are thinking of you tonight. You'll be in my prayers from now on. :)

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  6. Lisa, I've been reading and not commenting on your posts--especially those about your dad. You, your family and especially your dad are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope he comes to you soon.

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  7. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope they find him, alive and well, soon. (((hugs)))

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  8. I am DEFINITELY praying for you and your family and your dad right now!!!! Sending you lots of white light and positive energy!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  9. Lisa, I am just so saddened to read this. Please know I am thinking every good thought I have in me for you and your family.

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  10. Lisa, I'm praying for you and your family. Heart hugs.

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  11. Sending my thoughts and prayers to your family, Lisa.

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  12. Hoping and praying and keeping all relevant body parts crossed. I feel sick to my stomach for you. I can't even imagine how you're dealing with it. xoxo

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  13. I am saying a little prayer right now for him and for your whole family.

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  14. Lisa,
    I read this in the middle of the night and can't get you and Betty off my mind. Praying in ND with much love,
    Lynn

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  15. my thoughts and prayers are definitely with you and your family

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  16. Lisa I'm thinking of you and your family and hoping your Dad comes home safely. Hoping with all my heart

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  17. I don't really pray, but I'll be thinking about you today. Hold on and stay strong.

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  18. Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm praying your dad comes home soon, safe and sound. Big hugs.

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  19. Put me down as one of the readers but non-commenters. I'm sorry this is happening...please update us as soon as you can.

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  20. Oh, Honey. We're all thinking of you and hoping for the best. I don't know what else to say, but know that we love you and are here for you should you need anything.

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  21. I'm so sorry. I am hoping for the best for you. You'll be in my thoughts.

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  22. crystalginger4/17/2009 11:05 AM

    I've never met you and yet I'm almost crying right now. I am so sorry Lisa. I'm not the praying kind but I am thinking about you and your family and damn near ready to pray. I'm hoping and wishing for the best possible news.

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  23. I'm praying they find him alive and well. God bless. I'm so sorry you are going through this (again).

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  24. Oh Lisa, many many many good thoughts and prayers your way. Hope it's good news, and hope your baby will meet his grandpa.

    *hugs* (I know these are not enough, but hopefully every little bit helps)

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  25. oh, man Lisa. i so hope the day gets better for you . . .

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  26. Hi Lisa,

    I'm sitting in my cube trying to hold back tears...I am so so sorry, we are praying for you & your mom.

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  27. Lisa, I'm thinking of you and your family and hoping everything turns out for the best. *hugs*

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  28. I'm so sorry, Lisa. I hope he is safe and sound, and my prayers are with you and your entire family.

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  29. Lisa, I read this with a lump in my throat. I am so sorry for what you and your family is going through. I am hoping with every ounce of positivity that I can muster that your dad will be found soon and he will be found safe. Be strong, lady, and know that you are in our thoughts and hearts today.

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  30. lisa, i'm sending positivity out to your dad and a well of inner strength out to you. thinking of you a lot today.

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  31. What a scary time. I hope your dad is safe. I'm thinking of your family and wishing you the best.

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  32. Oh no, how terrible. I'm thinking of your Dad and you and Betty and Nick and the boy and hoping for the best.

    *hug*

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  33. I hope the new day has brought your Dad back to you. Be well.

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  34. I am speechless. Please know that we are praying and hoping for a positive outcome. Hugs.

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  35. I'm so heartbroken and sad to hear about your dad. I'll thinking and praying for your and your family during this difficult time.

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  36. I've been praying for him since I heard he was sick - I've been fearful for you that his heart troubles would cause him to be depressed. I'm so sorry, so sorry, but I'll keep all my good thoughts focused that he is found soon, and well.

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  37. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. You and your family are in my thoughts today. I hope he is found soon.

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  38. Came over from Hillary's. Sending all sorts of good thoughts your way. I hope and pray they find him well and healthy.

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  39. Just saw this post.. hoping and praying for you and your family.

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  40. Thinking of and praying for you and your family.

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  41. Here from Hillary. Praying for your dad's safety.

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  42. I'm so very sorry. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

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  43. My heart breaks for you. I hope he shows up soon and just took some time to clear his head alone. I can't even behind to imagine how you have dealt with all of this for so many years. Take care, and I hope you have a post soon that you found him.

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  44. Lisa, another reader-lurker. I am sorry to hear this as well, and I hope that he is back safe soon.

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  45. Oh, Lisa. I just read this. I am hoping beyond hopes that everything is okay right now.

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  46. Lisa, you are in my thoughts.

    Your strength amazes me - I hope all is right in your world again very, very soon.

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  47. We will definitely have our thoughts, prayers, hearts and energy supporting your family. I can't imagine what you have been through thus far and we will definitely root for dad to make it to grandpa status.

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  48. Oh, dear. I'm hoping and wishing and thinking and anything else I can possibly do for you and your family

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  49. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family!

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  50. I am very sorry to read this. My thoughts and prayers are with you...I am hoping hard for a the next post to be a relieved one.

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  51. My mother taught me the power of prayer... as well as the need to prioritize the things you pray for. Your situation requires a priority prayer. You don't know me but please know that you have numbers on your side - a lot of people praying for you. I pray for the best for you and your family. I hope that your dad is found safe.

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  52. Oh my gosh. I'm thinking of you, sending positive vibes your way. I wish I could do or say more to provide you with peace or support.

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  53. I echo what all of these commenters have said. I'm sending you and your family warm thoughts and my version of what a prayer might be.

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  54. long time reader, first time commenter. My prayers are with you and your family. Know you've got a lot of people in the universe pulling for you!

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  55. I said a prayer for you and your dad and I hope you got good news today, I truly do.

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  56. I hope he turns up safe and sound.

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  57. Lisa--I've never been a praying person, but my mom's illness taught me that even if you're not sure someone's listening, it helps to say your wishes out loud, to have that hope that it will all be okay. You and your dad are on my mind today, and I'll send all the good prayers and thoughts and energy I can. I'm so sorry, my dear, and I hope your dad is found alive and well.

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  58. Delurking after years of passively reading your blog to say that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry you are going through this and I sincerely hope your Dad is soon found safe and sound.

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  59. Thinking and praying for you, Lisa.

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  60. Karen, random reader4/17/2009 6:33 PM

    Praying for your family.

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  61. Oh, sweets. Praying for you and your family.

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  62. lisa - just read this and won't stop thinking of you. sending as much positive energy & love as physically possible.

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  63. I'm late in reading this, but I just wanted you to know that you and your family are so often in my thoughts and prayers that even when I'm not checking in with your blog, you're being thought of.

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