Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?

Here's the thing, and I swear this is not justification.

Or maybe it is, but only a little.

I had a shoe emergency today.

It wasn't like my old dating days, where buying emergency shoes meant, "Oh, no! Need new shoes! These shoes aren't hot enough for a last-minute date!"

When really, I should've been all, "I deserve more than this last-minute date. Plus, you're crazy and I should run away!"

Oh, hindsight and therapy are the best cocktail.

But my current issue is Nick's sofa.

It's formal black leather with covered tacks and these carved wooden animal legs for feet - you know the kind I mean? And these legs, they're curved, like actual animal back legs, so they stick out farther than the sofa.

They're mean and stealthy.

Plus there's one in the middle, right where you maybe don't expect a sofa leg.

Which makes it eminently kickable with your little toeables. And it hurts like a motherfucker when you do so. In case you're wondering.

This is how I wound up with the stub of death. It didn't fall off, but I'm pretty sure I broke it. And then two days ago, I kicked the same damn leg with the same damn toe.

This time it didn't turn black, but it hurts like all hell when it's squozen into normal shoes. And when I walk. Or stand.

So I wore this pair of shoes that leaves my toes free, but I walked to work in them and they rubbed a sore spot onto the top of my foot.

(See me building my case?)

Which is why at lunch I had to put on my rubber flops and flippity flop over to Nine West and buy two pairs of these cute shoes - black and pale gold - totally on sale and totally comfortable.

The woman trying on shoes next to me said, "Oh! How cute! I wonder if they have my size."

I told her my plight. I said I've been under a shopping injunction.

"But this," she said, "this is a medical emergency."

I almost asked her if we could be friends. But I was afraid I might sound weird.


  1. Hahaha! I don't know, it sounds like she might have been your shoe-mate.

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I just went there.

  2. Ouch! Cute shoes! I fully support shoe purchases for valid reasons or no reason at all, any time of day or year.

    I find decorative feet on furniture creepy, mainly the ball and claw. The sofa in our den has a middle leg too, it will getcha.

  3. Sophie had a similar encounter with that same sofa leg when we were at your house. She did not, however, immediately run out and buy shoes, an admirable act of restraint on her part, given the medical emergency nature of the event. It's probably for the best, as I doubt that our travel insurance would have covered emergency shoe purchases.

  4. We have a footboard on one of the beds that attacks us on a regular basis, so I know what you mean. Cute shoes and on sale? Forgivable, although your hubby will probably just recommend band-aids!

  5. LiLu - Ohhhh, you went there and it's excellent! Why didn't I think of that?

    HKW - Maybe these are ball and claw...they probably do have a ball under the foot? I have to look. I'm not fond of the sofa, so I don't pay much attention.

    Sean - I know! I felt bad about that and I have to say, I do admire her restraint as well. Is that how she wound up in the pool? Was that to soak her injured foot? I can't remember.

    cla517 - I would beat the footboard off the bottom of the bed if that were me. I have threatened to do mean things to the sofa legs. Nick will totally understand - I'm half justifying to myself, since I've been so careful with spending lately.

  6. I don't know if the pool visit was because of her toe or because is was so hot that day or because she just loves water, but the picture of Sophie and Kelli standing in Big J's pool together is one of the best from that day.

  7. Good call. But my daughter would love to have your number for the next shoe-emergency!

  8. I don't think it would have been weird. And she had a point.

    My excessive clumsiness has resulted in me wearing mostly closed-toed shoes. I had not considered the medical emergency justification benefits of this condition, however. I may have to rethink that strategy.

  9. Dude, 2 pairs of shoes? Nick got off light.

  10. They were on sale! Sometimes you have to spend money to save money, right?
    Love how you refer to it as Nick's sofa. Not yours, as a family. Oh no...that THING belongs to Nick. Maybe it could have an accident of its own someday?

  11. shoe emergencies are real.
    and you even purchased something on sale, that's effort.

  12. Ouchies, I can sympathise with the toe thing. In my clumsiness I have broken my little toe twice...same toe second time I dislocated it as well as breaking it and it still hurts like all buggery if I knock it 10 years later.
    I love shoe/shopping emergencies. I have the third date with HCM guy on friday and decided I had nothing to wear so HAD to race out and purchase this gorgeous blush pink soft floaty romantic blouse and some frou frou beads to go with it too.

  13. buy foam and tape it around the bottom of the sofa feet :)

  14. Sean - Yes, absolutey! Such a sunny, happy photo!

    cfoxes - Drop me an email the moment her crisis starts! :)

    Dagny - I tried to start wearing shoes in the house for this very reason, but it's just not me. But I hadn't thought of buying preventative footwear. It's smart.

    Hillary - I hadn't thought of it that way...

    Lisa - Me, too! I miss you, shoe-enabling lady!

    Susan H - Yes! And it's Nick's. If you're in our house, you know what's his and what's mine. Of course it's all ours, but the difference in styles is so dramatic that there's no question, really.

    jen - Why, thank you. You totally understand.

    Go-Betty - You know I have hopes for this date! Of course you had to buy some pretty new things to wear!

    As for the fact that the toe still hurts when you bump it 10 years later - this is so NOT good news for me. Agh!

    sunilski - Hi!! We are actually going to! I had thought of using bubble wrap, but Nick said we'll use foam. He says we're having to safety proof for J and for me. :)

  15. squozen....what a great word!

  16. There is ALWAYS a reason for new shoes. Always.

  17. I got the email about the Nine West shoes being on sale.

    MathMan had to tie me to the chair and take away the keys.

  18. It's always nice to meet a fellow shoe justifier!

  19. K dog - It should be squozen! Squeeze squoze squozen!

    Kate - Yes. And this one is particularly compelling, don't you think?

    Lisa - A man has to do what he has to do. :)

    Maiden Metallurgist - I think we could've been fast friends, really.

  20. I'm a long time reader, but seldom comment. I just have to let you know that I had an infected blister on my little toe that turned into a bone infection (if you can believe it). Two doctors and the ER gave me antibiotics for the infection which turns out can only be treated by IV antibiotics so it gets in your blood stream. I had to have 2/3 of my toe amputated and I'm currently doing 40+ days of IV antibiotics at the hospital daily.
    Needless to say, this really sucks ass. Closed toe can't work (rubbing), so flip flops are my shoe of choice for the moment. If you notice anything looking infected, see a doctor immediately and avoid blisters at all costs.
    PS cute shoes!

  21. I love people like that. I always worry about what people will say too. I think next time I may just ask if they want to be friends. Even if I get a weird look and they walk away.
    I'm glad you purchased comfortable shoes. I'd probably get rid of the couch too! :)


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