I read his post and was all, ohmygod this is exactly right and where were you five years ago, when I embarked on my Find Love on the Internet mission?
The truth is, I didn't really recognize The Crazy back then, so even if anyone had said, "Run!" I'd have been all, "But I can fix him! And then he'll love me forever!" Ha.
But I do kind of feel like Match.com should have this list and you should have to tick a box saying you've read and understood it before you can go forward in your profile. Kind of like making sure you have condoms on hand. Just in case.
Does that analogy work? I'm not sure.
Anyway. His title says Borderline Personality, but I'd say insert any kind of crazy, print them out, and stick them on the fridge. Or in a desk drawer in your office.
Because The Crazy? It is everywhere.
10 Practical Rules for Dealing with the Borderline Personality
I get to deal with a whole lot of crazy at work. The following rules are applicable to lots of flavors of crazy, but I've had a heavy dose of borderline personalities lately. So here are my ten rules for dealing with borderline personalities and other crazy people:
- If you don't have to deal with a crazy person, don't.
- You can't outsmart crazy. You also can't fix crazy. (You could outcrazy it, but that makes you crazy too.)
- When you get in a contest of wills with a crazy person, you've already lost.
- The crazy person doesn't have as much to lose as you.
- Your desired outcome is to get away from the crazy person.
- You have no idea what the crazy person's desired outcome is.
- The crazy person sees anything you have done as justification for what she's about to do.
- Anything nice you do for the crazy person, she will use as ammunition later.
- The crazy person sees any outcome as vindication.
- When you start caring what the crazy person thinks, you're joining her in her craziness.
That is so perfect. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThat is a fantastic list. I wouldn't change a thing.
ReplyDeleteWhere was this list when I married my ex???? Especially #7. Only I might add that also means The Crazy sees anything that he thinks you might have done as justification for what he's about to do.
ReplyDeletecuteellaisbold - Isn't it great? I had to pass it on.
ReplyDeleteJane - I was really impressed with Mark for putting it so concisely.
Lisa - I know, right!? And you make a good point with "thinks you might have done"...Crazy is crazy.
Crazy trumps good person. Sad, but true.
ReplyDeleteI can't show this to MathMan. He'll start packing immediately.
ReplyDeletethis list is perfect.
ReplyDeleteWow, a very impressive list. Definitely a public service post, thanks for sharing! I might add "The crazy person doesn't follow or understand any rules. Crazy is the only rule."
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of this list is "When you get in a contest of wills with a crazy person, you've already lost."
ReplyDeleteI would add, "Once the crazy starts to make sense, you are past the point of no return."
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ReplyDeleteOh thank you so much for this. This is definately going on my fridge and I will read it before I venture forth on any dates from now on. I wish I had had this knowledge before the last boy. AAhh well he was a lesson in crazy I needed to learn I think.
ReplyDeleteSo true. I always thought I could fix the crazy. You can't! At least when I see the crazy now, I back away. Well put!
ReplyDeleteRule Number 2 is my favourite.
ReplyDeleteDagny - Yes, for sure. Crazy trumps all.
ReplyDeleteLisa - I wonder if he'd tie you to a chair beforehand? :)
Hillary - I rarely feel like I come across words to live by, but this was one of those instances.
HKW - NO kidding! It's true that if you're doing the dance with The Crazy, they are setting the rules. Absolutely true!
Miss Dallas - I love that as well. And you make a very good point. Scary, huh?
Go-Betty - I think many of us could've used this list before X point/person in our lives. And they're all lessons, and if they don't kill us...but now I have firmly in mind to RUN if possible.
kayare - I tried and tried and tried to fix. It will just suck the life out of you, won't it?
P - I feel like #1 is so simple and such a straightforward solution. But if it's not do-able, then, well, there's the rest of the list.
I need to hang this on my wall.
ReplyDeleteFunny list. Be careful with this though. There are some people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (like my wacked out step-sister) and it can get a lot more complicated...
ReplyDelete