The thing is, I have to introduce you to Chris before I can tell you the douchebag story

Because otherwise it just gets way too long. And before I can even get to the douchebag part, you'll be all SNZZZZZZ.

Our friend Chris works for the guy we bought our house from, who is a big developer in DC and, as far as we know from everything in the house and everything we've heard, just generally an unethical douchebag.

We met Chris when we were househunting, and we took to him immediately.

Chris is this tall, very cute, late-20s Midwestern guy originally from a small town in MN.
Being that Betty is from ND and my dad was from MN, they know the same places and had similar growing up experiences, and not just driving by Big Ole Chedo Lino and Babe the Blue Ox.

Until recently, he lived across the street, so the three - or four of us, when Betty is here - have spent many evenings drinking beer, talking about life, playing Scrabble. He even spent Christmas with us.

He is such good people. He's a lot bigger than me but I often have the urge to pick him up and squeeze him.

It would be awkward, because I wouldn't actually be able to lift him, so really, we'd just wrestle until we both fell over and as I mentioned, he is really cute, and so then Nick would be all, "the Hell?"

I don't. In case you're wondering.

So there you have it. That's Chris.