Tuesday, July 13, 2010

So Nick compared my high school reunion to a wedding and it makes me want to wear my veil and I am not kidding

One of Nick's friends asked him how my high school reunion went.

He replied, "She had a great time. It was kind of like a wedding."

I don't know if you have ever donned a veil, but I did, just that once, and it felt like magic. When I was a kid, one Christmas my dad gave me a purple feather boa. I just felt better when I had it on. It was exactly like that.

I'd wear it every day if I could. Honestly.

But I digress.

So he went on to explain the wedding analogy to me: there was the build-up. The anticipation! The excitement! And! Then! The all-weekend party! It was so incredible for all of us to be together! We stayed up late and drank too much and danced and talked and talked and talked and had such an amazing time!

(I'm adding the exclamation points; unlike me, Nick doesn't talk all exclamation-pointy.)

He went on, "And then there was some bratty behavior..."

"Wait, who was bratty?"

"You were. You were kind of a bridezilla."

"I was not! At our wedding!?"

"No. At your reunion."


"You were all, this is MY weekend."

(At which point I was immediately all, asshole, it was MY weekend. YOU had your reunion weekend out of town. So you spent the weekend boozing and sleeping in and doing whatever the fuck you wanted ELSEWHERE while I stayed home with the kid.)

But since I'd already gotten 54 kinds of furious about our incident that weekend, thus branding myself as "bratty" I said, "Go on."

Although I maybe muttered "anal sphincter" under my breath a few times in a row. What? Sometimes it just feels good.

He continued, "You all had a great time all weekend. And then it was over and everyone left. And then you crashed."

And this was true. I had a hard week last week. I felt a lack in my world.

(I'd say a disruption in the force, but then you'd know for sure what a dork I am.)

I'd heard about people having the post-wedding crash, where they miss the lead-up and the excitement and anticipation and then they have such a good time! And then there is this void in their lives.

While I loved our wedding like crazy and wanted it to go on and on, this wasn't the case with me.

But post-reunion, I definitely felt like my life was, I don't know, a little less brightly colored. It wasn't Oz vs. Kansas. But somehow slightly diminished.

Realistically, I know that it was a superintense, highly emotional time. We filled Every. Single. Minute. with talk and laughter and drinks and remember when! and hugging and oh!, there is not enough time! Sleep is for when you're dead because we only have a couple days! and wow, I've missed you!

You can't sustain that intensity for very long. I get that. But coming down from it was hard.

And I love my now life. I love my husband and my child beyond reason. I never get enough time with either of them, and I revel in the time we have. I love where we live. I love my friends.

But still, I've realized that there's this little piece of my heart that is missing here.

It doesn't stop me from being happy. I don't generally feel the lack.

In fact, I didn't even realize it was empty, until it was full.

I'm so totally putting on that veil when I get home.


  1. Oh the reunion build-up. I had my 10 year HS reunion last summer, and I was SO MAD when my husband bailed on me 1 hour before we needed to leave (yeah, I DON'T CARE if your soon-to-be-removed gallbladder is acting up).

    A side note - is that Betty in the photo. You two look SO much alike. And is there a reason you call her Betty and not mom? Ignore that question if it's too personal :)

  2. i too keep my veil in a very reachable place. it goes exceptionally well with any time i dress up all pretty like and then have down time to kill, and it also goes surprisingly well with pajamas and ice cream.
    and i totally get the comparison so i give the points to Nick on this one, except for the Reunionzilla thing, at least that's not th version we've heard : )

  3. This was beautifully written, lisa! I'm glad you got to have that wonderful time, and your heart completely full :)

  4. If I ever get married, I'm pretty sure I'd wear the veil all the time. Just because I could. It would make vaccuuming so much more glamorous. Right? Also. I need a tiara.

  5. Tia - Oh, no! Gallbladder! You couldn't just leave him at home?

    That is Betty! And I don't remember when the Betty started. I tend to call her Mama but most of the time when I refer to her it's Betty.

    jen - Veils are fun! I could see them going very well with PJs and ice cream. And maybe some Big Love or Dexter.

    As for the reunionzilla thing, it was just because I was pissed that he went to the boat and left me with J early in the morning when I wanted to sleep in because I'd been out too late.

    moosiegoes - Thank you! Clearly it is still very much on my mind. :)

    Kate - I was kind of anti-veil and someone on my blog, I think, said to just try one on and see...and then I was all, oh! Must have a veil! I love it so! I'm a huge fan of tiaras as well. I didn't want one for the wedding but I love them for New Year's and such. And if I vacuumed...:)

  6. Wedding veils are magic! I pulled my wedding veil out of the closet a couple of anniversaries ago and danced around the house, Audrey Hepburn style. A wedding veil may be the only thing missing from the Star Wars movies.

    I'm so glad the reunion weekend was fulfilling and fun for you and your besties. It's wonderful you have those memories and can look forward to the next reunion. It's important to be around those we care about!

  7. Monique Esselmont7/13/2010 4:13 PM

    I feel the void for having not been able to go. I look at your pictures and long for the times we all had together. I can honestly say that living in India was the best time of my life, and I made the best friends of my life (even though we don't see each other)... Life is great now, and I love my husband and kids, but if I could go back and relive what we all had back then, I totally would (but just for a little while)...

  8. I am so going to buy a tiara to do my housework in. My veil would just get in the way its too long...about 3 metres or something like that. Its very pretty though, I made it myself and it is edged in the same lace as I put on my wedding dress. I really should sell the whole bloody lot and buy me a big as tiara for doing the house work in. Ok thats the plan for this month, sell the wedding shit and get me a house work tiara. :-)

  9. I love this piece. I am glad you had a good reunion. I am approaching my 20th in a few years . . . 2014 to be exact. I will start eating low carb now - it takes me about 4 years to lose two pounds nowadays anyway.

  10. HKW - They totally ARE magic! It's bizarre! (And yay you got the reference and didn't make fun. :)) You are totally right - so looking forward to the next one!

    Monique - It would've been wonderful to hang out with you for a couple days straight. It was like going back in so many ways. At some point Kelli said, "We're 15 again!" and it really felt like it. But in the best way.

    Go-Betty - Three metres! Wow! I bet it's absolutely lovely. I bought the netting or whatever you call it and the comb and Betty made mine - it's really simple - and the whole thing cost maybe $12. I bet you could sell yours for a lot. I was shocked at how expensive they are in stores!

    Masala Chica - Thank you - we really did. I know you're joking...sort of. Everyone told me my body would never be the same, and boy, is that true. The thing I find the hardest is the lack of time for exercise. I miss it!

  11. Reunion weekend reminds me of summer camp. I would be so excited for it to come and then it would be there and it was amazing and then I would get home and I wouldn't want to talk to anyone and I'd call my camp friends 55050606050 times because I missed them and my parents just didn't understand. Yes, I totally get it. And talking in exclamation points is awesome!

  12. Oh, pulling out the wedding veil..sounds like exactly what I need. Lovely idea...just want to do it..

  13. Don't get me wrong, I read the whole post and enjoyed it, but forever more this is how it will look in the pdf in my brain:

    Nick said...blah blah blah...wedding stuff...veils... blah blah blah

    Disruption in the Force [Holy crap! Did she just reference Star Wars? How cool! Really! It's a few and far between woman who can properly reference Ben Kenobi. Next thing you know she'll work "I'd rather kiss a Wookie" into a post.]

    blah blah blah


  14. Oh - you were a lovely bride!

    This summer marks my 20 year reunion too and I don't, in any way, want to attend. But I have really enjoyed following along with yours. I have a few really good friends scattered around the globe; I know what you're talking about when referring to the let down after a visit.

    And I totally wear my veil every now and then... usually when I've decluttered the closet and stumble across it. I've even put the dress on a few times since the big day. I loved being a bride... I was totally into that "I'm a princess" vibe.

  15. Oh I know the feeling.. A recent college graduate I find the weekends spent with old roommates are so packed with breath taking moments and then I must return to real life... It is not that I love my life any less or that I am less happy.. its just you never realize how much you miss the atmosphere or the people until they are not in your everyday routine anymore.


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