Monday, January 24, 2011

Trying is very, well, trying

Yah, so when I was single and people would say they were "trying to have a baby" I was always like, why the would you tell me that?

Like, I don't feel bad enough about being single and about to die alone, and now you're telling me that on top of your regular marital sex, you're having even more sex.

You get to have sex any time you want to. And now you have even MORE.

While I am going to die alone in this corner over here.

Out loud I would be all, "Oh, well, good luck!"

While internally I would be all, "Fuck you very much."


And when we got pregnant with Jordan, I didn't really know how to track anything. My period was always kind of a surprise. Like on our honeymoon. Although that was the least of it.

But generally, there we were, newly married and having lots of sex, and hoping to get pregnant, but figuring it would take a while. But we'd do it ever day, just to be safe.

And maybe there were a few days where I was all, "Oh, for God's sake, just stick it in and get it over with, would you?"

But for the most part, it wasn't all that much effort.

And now, now I know why people who are trying talk about trying. Because it's on your mind ALL THE TIME.

I mean, I'm not all, "Hi my name is Lisa and according to my calculations I'm going to ovulate tomorrow, but I've been peeing on those motherfucking sticks and now I wonder if I ovulate at all..."

I have more self-restraint than that.

And I also realize that nobody was telling me that they were having lots of fun sex.


What they were saying was, "Sex on demand really sucks and I can tell you exactly what day of my cycle today is and maybe even the state of my mucus and position of my cervix and if by the grace of God I get pregnant I am never going to have to have sex again. I am so over it."

Just kidding, Nick. HAHAHaha. Ha. ha.


  1. ugh.

    Come on, guys -- swim!

  2. This is so very much exactly right. As one of those single persons who is destined to die alone in the corner right over there, I have definitely thought this at times.

    But people stop talking about how much "fun" trying is after a little while.

    So, yeah. But, you *still* have a date on national holidays, so there's that.

  3. So the ultrasound I had last week was done at a fertility clinic for various reasons. Anyway, the waiting room was full of very tired / sad / stressed looking people. So much so that Shawn noticed (he is not so much a noticer of other people's emotions. ahem.) I guess what I'm saying is that I don't really see "trying to get pregnant" sex as very much fun and I'm sorry that you're stuck.

  4. Ugh. Effing charting and bbt and all that is the worst. Trying definitely takes a lot of the fun out of the doing it. Fingers crossed for you everyday!

  5. The lady who lives in the house on the corner of my street is a stranger but she and I exchange friendly waves whenever we see one another. I saw her this morning and she's visibly pregnant. She looks like you - petite, blonde hair, blue eyes and has an adorable little toddler about Jordan's age. So this could be a sign you'll be pregnant soon too. I hope so, knowing it is something you and Nick want. Good luck, sincerely :)

  6. Trying is fun for about the 1st month when you're all "we're just going to see what happens" about it. Because surely that's all it takes, right? I mean, we've been told over and over again that no birth control = getting pregnant, so surely getting pregnant is easy, right?

    I hate those damn ovulation sticks. I thought ooh, they'll tell me when I'm ovulating, sweet! Then I actually tried them and found out that you have to compare colors of the lines and you need to test at the same time on those days, in a particular window because if you test at such and such time, you might miss a surge that happens later or before or something, I don't know. Next thing you know, you're setting an alarm to go pee at a certain time of day, on a certain day, and spending minutes studying the shade of this thing you just peed on.

  7. Tell Nick after the sex to pick you up by your ankles and dangle you for half an hour or so to help the little guys with their swimathon.
    It might work... and Nick is tall enough and strong enough to do this.
    Seriously though people keep telling me when you stop trying so hard for something it happens.

  8. Been there. I damn near had to rape my husband when I got pg with my daughter. We were both sick with terrible colds, but the stick said it was time! Yeah. Not so much fun. Here's hoping everything works out soon and you can go back to your regularly scheduled married sex. . .

  9. Sex on demand sucks. But you gotta admit, if another baby like your sweet Jordan is the goal, it's worth it.


  10. Wendy - Haha - that's what I'm going to say next time!

    Jessica - You are right, and I do appreciate the date.

    Hillary - Yes. If you don't start out that way, it will definitely make you tired/sad/stressed/bitter/etcetcetc.

    Maiden Metallurgist - The BBT was totally stressing me out. I had bad dreams that I forgot to take it. I stopped because it was just too anxiety-provoking.

    HKW - I like that as a sign! Hugs to you, my friend!

    Lisa - Exactly! Do you know how damn careful I was for so much of my life? You grow up believing you make one mistake and you're all pregnant immediately!

    And I hate those fucking sticks.

    Go-Betty - I know, I know, but it's so hard not to!

    cla517 - Ugh. It's so grim when you're both all, I don't want to...but we have to...

    Stevie - If it works out, it'll all be worth it. But I'm pretty much over it at this point.

  11. i don't think trying is fun, even when you haven't been trying long. i know my husband wasn't a fan, he was all "are we just having sex to make a baby??" in a concerned tone and i was all "not today. but yesterday, yes, yesterday was definitely just for a baby."
    sex just seems to lose something when there's a reason for it. just me?
    either way i hope you're successful soon! sending fertile vibes your way!

  12. Can't relate to that yet, but I'm sure you can to my current situation. It's hard to get in the mood when the baby is kicking constantly.

    But, good luck =).

  13. did you ever tell us when your boob liberation day was?

    i ask because, since you and i were on the exact same schedule, i thought you might want to know that by not having my boob liberation day until the byrd was 13 months screwed up my cycle a bit and i didn't get my period until the end of this novemeber. so maybe your cycle is still a bit out of whack?

    all the best.

  14. you could take on a great deal of debt, or lose a job. that always worked for me... just sayin'...

  15. When you were trying way back then, so were we. And we had a baby and a month later, hey, you had one! And now again, we are all trying! We've only just started, so to speak, but the next few months are crazy busy with travel for both of us, and trying to not travel on 'the green nights' is proving to be quite difficult. Good luck, I really hope it happens. xxxx

  16. I love the HAHA has trailing off at the end.
    Been there. Done that. And you're right, it sucks.

  17. Sounds about right. Yeah, and the ovulation sticks are maddening. Still sending good thoughts your way.


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