Yah, so when I was single and people would say they were "trying to have a baby" I was always like, why the would you tell me that?
Like, I don't feel bad enough about being single and about to die alone, and now you're telling me that on top of your regular marital sex, you're having even more sex.
You get to have sex any time you want to. And now you have even MORE.
While I am going to die alone in this corner over here.
Out loud I would be all, "Oh, well, good luck!"
While internally I would be all, "Fuck you very much."
And when we got pregnant with Jordan, I didn't really know how to track anything. My period was always kind of a surprise. Like on our honeymoon. Although that was the least of it.
But generally, there we were, newly married and having lots of sex, and hoping to get pregnant, but figuring it would take a while. But we'd do it ever day, just to be safe.
And maybe there were a few days where I was all, "Oh, for God's sake, just stick it in and get it over with, would you?"
But for the most part, it wasn't all that much effort.
And now, now I know why people who are trying talk about trying. Because it's on your mind ALL THE TIME.
I mean, I'm not all, "Hi my name is Lisa and according to my calculations I'm going to ovulate tomorrow, but I've been peeing on those motherfucking sticks and now I wonder if I ovulate at all..."
I have more self-restraint than that.
And I also realize that nobody was telling me that they were having lots of fun sex.
What they were saying was, "Sex on demand really sucks and I can tell you exactly what day of my cycle today is and maybe even the state of my mucus and position of my cervix and if by the grace of God I get pregnant I am never going to have to have sex again. I am so over it."
Just kidding, Nick. HAHAHaha. Ha. ha.