How to stay single in the normal world

Do you remember Bob from the Quad?

I ran into him at our meeting in New York. It was a delightful surprise.

He's still the same. We hugged and giggled like maniacs.

He left our office shortly after I got engaged, so I gave him the life highlights: married the guy, got knocked up, have a son, all is well.

He's still living the single life, still dating. He said he just tends to say or do the wrong thing and fuck up the dates.

He gave a cringe-worthy example. Personally, I think he just hasn't met anyone with the appropriate level of goofiness and appreciation of the absurd.

So I told him the following story.

Nick had a second date with a woman in Baltimore. They were going to have dinner and then see a movie. Traffic was horrendous, and he'd gotten there late. So he asked if she'd rather have dinner or see the movie, as there just wasn't time for both.

She chose the movie. She really wanted to see Brokeback Mountain.

Having been stuck in the car for a couple hours, Nick really had to pee. He waited until they were settled in their seats, and then he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

By the time he sat back down, the film was underway.

He leaned over and said, "Have I missed any of the good sodomy?"

He never saw her again.