So, I painted my toenails orange because I have to go to Tampa tomorrow for work. Which actually has nothing to do with anything.
Because what I really want to talk about is this: there are people who are good at using pull-down shades, and people who are not.
I fall into the second category.
Somehow, I am always letting go of the damn things too quickly, and they flip way up to the top. Or I don't stop pulling when I should, and then they wind up 15 feet long. And then I do the little quick tug to make them go up. And they get longer. Or whiz themselves all the way up.
When we lived in Nick's condo, I loved our plantation shutters that Nick refused to peek his penis out of, but we do not have them in our house. And they are not in the budget. So we have shades and blinds.
Which means Nick is constantly giving me remedial shade-pulling lessons.
The other day, just before naptime, I let go of the shade in Jordan's room and it zipped up to the top of the window. Jordan was right there on the changing table, and I wasn't sure what to do. Because my options, as I saw it, were twofold. I could shove him out the door, close it, and hurriedly pull the shade down while he wailed in an abandoned panic.
I guess now that I think about it I could also have stuck him in the closet. But it didn't occur to me at the time. And also might've been a little traumatic as well.
My second option was to let him watch me drag the chair over, place it against the wall, skibble-scooch up on the back of the chair and also kind of balance on the bit of window ledge that sticks out next to the air conditioner while clutching the window frame...and then reeeaaaach up and pull down the shade.
Here, Jordan! Here's how to climb to very high places! It's not safe, but it works! And wheee, doesn't it look like fun?
This turns out to be the option I chose.
And he just giggled at me as I clenched the window frame, reaching for the shade.
Yes, my little friend, she sure is. Now don't you try this little trick.
And no, nobody wants to go to Tampa in July and try to look semi-professional while sweating like a stuck pig. And yes, I think orange toes might help. Also, do pigs really sweat?