Friday, March 23, 2012

35 weeks and the sad realization that I am definitely Capital rather than District

First things first: Yes, I wish I were going to Hunger Games this afternoon, and yes, I'm waiting for my HG necklace to arrive. And yes, I just had a conversation about how, although I like to think of myself as tough, I would probably be Capital rather than even a townie from one of the districts.

I would never make it in the Seam in District 12, for example. And Nick is the only one with any chance of surviving the arena.

Also, I'm not actually this gleeful about the tremendosity of the baby house I'm carrying around. I'm tired and whiny and complainy and bitter and disgruntled. I've begun commuting with a full backpack for a couple reasons: one, it's easier than carrying my bag across my body, and two, it kind of balances me out.

But Nick and I were going to take a picture this morning, and then our delightful progeny, light of our lives, was, quite frankly, such a tremendous asshole that it made the entire morning extremely chaotic.

And so I asked my friend Michele if she would take it in her office. I closed her door, peered out the window to see if anyone would see me partly nakey against the door (no), and bared my belly. She burst out laughing, and I did, too.

I'm sure it falls under Not Appropriate Office Behavior. Much like furtively changing in your cube while your Quad-mates keep a lookout.

Good times.

Anyway, the pregnant.

This past week the girl started stabbing me somewhere very terrible. It's like she took one of her wee fingers (with fingernails!) and poked it repeatedly into my, I don't know, bladder? cervix? Somewhere internal and ooh! ooh! ooh! tender.

It's mostly been intermittent, but she kept it up for a good hour the other day.

If that won't make a person bitter, I don't know what will. It's very hard to walk to work or carry on a conversation with little sharpy pokes in tender places.

This past week Jordan also suddenly took notice of my belly. No matter that I've been putting his hand on it, talking about the baby sister, asking if he can feel her move, for weeks now. Now it is big enough that it inconveniences him.

He was sitting on the edge of what is left of my lap (thankfully we visited the hot eye doctor while I still had more of one), and suddenly put his hand on my prodigious belly and said, "WHAT IS THIS?"

So we talked about the Baby Sister! And how much she's going to love him! And how she is going to be here soon! And bring presents!

And he asked, "Who is her mama and daddy?"

"I'm her mama and Daddy is her daddy."

"NO! YOU'RE NOT HER MAMA! DADDY ISN'T HER DADDY! NO!"

All I can say is, the de-throning is going to be very good for him. And all of us.

May the odds be ever in your favor, my little friend. Except when you're throwing a huge tantrum on the floor. Then I'd like them to be in mine.

8 comments:

  1. Perhaps you could lend him to daytime talk shows, to interject some extra drama?
    And I have to agree - you're definitely Capitol. Not because you're not tough enough, though - really, just because I know you have really cool shoes - the sort of thing you'd *never* find in one of the districts.

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    1. Welll, thank you for putting the positive spin on it! I'm not wimpy - I just have great shoes! Hugs to you, my recuperating friend!

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  2. I love this photo of you, Lisa! Having just seen you...this is exactly how you look - beautiful :) You're so close to the arrival of your sweet baby girl, very exciting.

    I'm anxious to see the Hunger Games too. Loved the books, excited to see it played out visually. I hope your necklace arrives soon!

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  3. Looking good, Lisa! And wow, that's quite a basketball you've got in there! Just a wee bit longer!!

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  4. Roared out loud laughing at "WHAT IS THIS?" Too funny! And the whole sibling thing, I find it's either really great or pretty yucky depending on the family. Not so many just so so about siblings. Either you can't live without them in your lives or you cant shoot them or you'd go to jail. I'm of the latter. And is it a toss up how that happens or is it all the mothers fault? As most things are...:-)(I'm finding more and more that all problems are blamed on the mom and it's really starting to piss me off!)
    I haven't read the HG's and probably wont cause I heard kids suffer in that book/movie. Crappy mom that I am I hate to see the little shits hurting or hungry.
    When are you due btw? Soon I hope. Because WOW! You are a bit wee to be carrying around a baby grand. But I do love your smile. And totally identify with the whole wish this was OVER crappy feelings. Have a nice restful weekend if you can!

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  5. you're so tiny!!! really. I don't think you've gained a pound of non-baby weight. you look so fabulous! As for Jordan, it's going to be rough. my friends with 2+ all say to pay the most attention to the first, cause little Sophie will never know what she's missing anyway. you'll still have huge possession issues but it should get better with time. Never ever leave jordan alone with little sophie, not even for a second. kids are not evil but they can do really stupid things sometimes.... I'm totally psyched for ya, YAH!

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  6. Your baby tummy is enormous! You look a little like you should be starting to tip forwards, the rest of you doesn't look big enough to balance it out!

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  7. You look marvelous. And if you didn't tell me otherwise, I'd believe the gleeful photo.

    I laughed out loud at the last part. Bless his heart, this is going to be a big shock, but he'll manage. May the odds be....and all that.

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