Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Stripes I understand and stripes I don't

The tip of the stripeberg:"You see, Mama, I do like brown sugar on my oatmeal."

So, I should make it clear up front that I would never consider myself fashion-forward.

For example, I don't understand much of Prada, lovely as it may be. I can't pull off clothes from Anthropologie, even though (or maybe because?) they're cool.

I have a tendency to wear clothes that make me smile or amuse me in some way. I wore my screaming pink winter coat with orange and purple and whatever else I felt like, until it fell apart. Truly.

And when I'm commuting, particularly in cold weather, all thought of appearance goes out the window. Today I walked to work in a grey dress, white cardigan, purple comfy sneakers, and red socks.

Most of my socks are striped or brightly colored. Which turn out to be a little surprising with my purple sneakers, now that dress weather has arrived.

What I'm probably saying is, I could never be a judge on Project Runway. I'm likely to wind up a Fashion Don't in a magazine.

OK?

So in the Stripes I Understand category, I present my son. Here's his outfit for the day. These are one of his two pairs of beloved Cold Pants.I quite enjoy the slightly dizzying array of stripaliciousness.

These shorts, on the other hand, I place under also dizzying, but Stripes I Don't Understand. Not because I think they're ugly; I don't. I just feel like I don't understand zig-zagged pants, much less ones that point directly at your crotchal area.

Because, why?

Also, here's the description of them in Self magazine (which is where I got the photo) "Short enough to flaunt athletic legs, long enough for meetings. $275."I have athletic legs, and I'm fine with them in shortish shorts, but there's no chance these would flatter me. Who outside the toothpick model community could pull them off? Also, even though I do not, in fact, have industrial-strength labia, I would be very self-conscious about the "look up at my hoo-ha! and now look down at my thighs!" direction of the stripes.

I'm assuming that the rear view is similar. "Here's my butt hole! Look! I'm pointing right at it! With very bright colors!"

But I suppose my main question, even beyond the $275 for these?? is: Where do you work that this pair of shorts would ever be appropriate for meetings?

14 comments:

  1. Ridiculous. When I first looked at the picture, I thought they were guys' board shorts. My big athletic husband could pull those off on a surfboard (maybe). Nobody else could.

    And unless the meeting was of the "let's meet at the ice cream store and decide where we're going to go bike riding" variety, no way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think those would actually be very cute surf shorts and Jason could pull them off, if anyone.

      I know - such casual pattern, no?

      Delete
  2. HAHAHAAAAAA hahhaaaaaa HAHAAAAAHAAAAAA. Women's mags always make me want to gag, but I guess they are good for a laugh sometimes too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually quite like them, but rarely read them because they make me feel not tall/skinny/well dressed/blah blah blah enough.

      But this did crack me up. The hell?

      Delete
  3. They are ridiculously weird looking. I don't understand them either.

    A lot of fashion magazines confuse me though because i can't possibly understand wearing ANY of the clothes combinations contained within them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a good point. So many are so over the top that normal people would never pull them off (even if we could afford them).

      Delete
  4. I'm confused by the fact that the stripes seem to be going in many different directions. and sizes. and colors. But I wouldn't mind working wherever it is that one would attend meetings in those shorts, could be fun.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree. Wherever it is that those would be appropriate for meetings could be a fun place. Definitely not my office. HR would give you a talking-to about appropriateness.

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. I actually like the fabric...just not as those shorts.

      Delete
  6. Uck. Too much rainbow-stripey-weirdness. And these were in Self? Which is not a typical fashion rag, so maybe that explains it. If you attended clown college, maybe meeting-appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This post reminded me of another funny one written by MODG (Martinis or Diaper Genies) You should take a look! http://www.modgblog.com/2011/04/26/its-a-showcase-showdown-come-on-down/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That IS funny! At least I didn't buy these (as if! the horror!). :)

      Delete

Tell me about it.